Editors’ Blog

Contest: Six Words on “Why You Didn’t Call Back”

Tuesday, April 7th, 2009

By Larry Smith

We heard many amazing stories while on tour for Six-Word Memoirs on Love & Heartbreak. As we went from bookstore to bookstore meeting six-word memoirists, they shared a lot of love, and even more heartbreak. Yet hope springs eternal, and at Tattered Cover Books in Denver, we met author and dating coach Rachel Greenwald*, who’s on a mission to hook us all up.

To celebrate the release of her new book, Why He Didn’t Call You Back: 1,000 Guys Reveal What They Really Thought About You After Your Date, we’re holding a six-word contest open to guys and dolls alike: Give us six words on why you didn’t call back? Leave your most honest half-dozen words in the comments area of this post and you could win a free dating coach session from Greenwald (which goes for $1,500 on the open market: “Hey,” she says, “it’s life-changing stuff”), along with a copy of her book, and be….unstoppable. Five runners-up win a copy of Why He Didn’t Call You Back. The contest ends on Tuesday, April 14, 5pm EST.

Check out Greenwald’s Facebook page for more information about the book and the many singles events she’s holding as it’s released. Check her out on The Today Show tomorrow, April 8.

* We also met her mother, whose story behind the six words, “What happened to that nice Catholic,” was a true show stopper in Denver’s Tattered Covered Books. Watch this one-minute video, it’s divine.

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198 responses

  1. LB says:

    Naked, she looked like my mother.

  2. Jonathan Cockburn says:

    1. My wife tore up her number
    2. Transatlantic calls are costly. I emailed
    3. I did! Mercifully, she didn’t reply
    4. Forgot name, lost number - as usual!

  3. A. B. Brown says:

    Why is my fucking tongue burning?

  4. A. B. Brown says:

    Scabies! Are you fucking kidding me?

  5. Kayla Smith says:

    He was afraid to hit me.

  6. K. Babyak says:

    Bus accident - No, I’m not lying!

  7. K a E says:

    He thought he was the prettiest.

  8. Sean Watson says:

    She smelled like old moist bread.

  9. Johnsienoel says:

    Desperate self-image reflected in the eyes.

  10. Chris says:

    Her kid stole my sunlglasses.

  11. remy says:

    he was rude to the waiter

  12. Poet730 says:

    1. You were not worth my time
    2. I did! Your spouse threatened death!
    3. You were done so I left
    4. I don’t date my mistakes.

  13. Kimberly Wetherell says:

    That booty call only rang once.

  14. ginger says:

    1) Because they’re all “technically married” alcoholics
    2) He thought he was a robot
    3) His tattoos were lamer than mine

  15. bonita says:

    Athletic sex. Kissed hard. Dismount tricky.

  16. Todd says:

    Couldn’t get a word in.

  17. Kristin says:

    Porn obsessions: not good lunch topic.

  18. Rudy Jaimes says:

    You’ve heard of “Pandora’s Box,” right?

  19. Rudy Jaimes says:

    Best not stir up trouble, again.

  20. Rudy Jaimes says:

    She has the personality of dust.

  21. Rudy Jaimes says:

    She calls, and calls and calls.

  22. Rudy Jaimes says:

    He want’s what I can’t give.

  23. malcolm says:

    incest makes it sound so dirty.

  24. Jenna says:

    easier to ignore than to acknowledge

  25. Beth E says:

    He said, “Go play in traffic.”

  26. bonita says:

    Didn’t listen to, “Kiss my neck”.

  27. bonita says:

    He said, “I’ll pull out.” Didn’t.

  28. Peter T says:

    She drank, she slurred, not pretty.

  29. Peter T says:

    A few red flags started flying.

  30. Peter T says:

    Your cat is not really special.

  31. Peter T says:

    No, “Pulp Fiction” is not sexy.

  32. Peter T says:

    Drama, drama, drama, I like comedy.

  33. Voodoo Lady says:

    Cocaine doesn’t pay the bills moron.

  34. Voodoo Lady says:

    Needed money, not more drug addicts.

  35. Voodoo Lady says:

    His wang wasn’t all that impressive.

  36. Voodoo Lady says:

    Like hard workers, not couch potatoes.

  37. Voodoo Lady says:

    Ignored them, before they ignored me.

  38. Voodoo Lady says:

    “Just the tip?” You’re a dip.

  39. Voodoo Lady says:

    Bad teeth equals really bad breath.

  40. Robin Slick says:

    He thought nipple clamps were sexy.

  41. Robin Slick says:

    He was Republican and loved Styx.

  42. snidelys4 says:

    Much less fascinating than you think.

  43. Joe_Molinari says:

    If it’s true love, then guess.

  44. Laurel Rhame says:

    He likes O’Reilly. I voted Obama.

  45. j says:

    Lived with parents way too long.

  46. Julie says:

    Date with anesthesiologist left me snoozing.

  47. Julie says:

    Couldn’t be bothered to use tongue.

  48. Michael says:

    Me. His ego. Not enough room.

  49. chana007 says:

    happily ever after is a fairytale

  50. chana007 says:

    it’s to good to be true

  51. chana007 says:

    was to good to be true

  52. chana007 says:

    he’s from venus. I’m from mars

  53. scandalousmuffin says:

    Ruptured last girlfriend’s aneurysm during cunnilingus.

  54. Jed says:

    Because you said I had to.

  55. PopQuiz says:

    He knew all my sex tricks.

    After sex i confessed, “I’m pregnant”

    I made him question his religion.

    We felt in love after dinner.

  56. Jonathan Cockburn says:

    She poisoned Mr Lucky, my budgerigar

  57. Michelle says:

    I said “No.” You didn’t listen.

  58. Rudy Jaimes says:

    I don’t want to encourage her.

  59. Rudy Jaimes says:

    Telling her directly almost never works.

  60. Rudy Jaimes says:

    The dog ate my telephone book.

  61. Rudy Jaimes says:

    Some people can’t take a hint.

  62. Rudy Jaimes says:

    It was Verizon, I like ATT.

  63. Rudy Jaimes says:

    A vacation home in Florida, hah!

  64. Rudy Jaimes says:

    How did she get my number?

  65. Yvonne says:

    Rhode Island caller said “im his”.

  66. L. O’Connor says:

    I’ve got two words: atrocious halitosis.

  67. Rudy Jaimes says:

    She only listens when she speaks.

  68. L. O’Connor says:

    I was drunk. I’m still drunk.

  69. Jshulick says:

    Uh, he’s another guy I’m dating.

  70. Joe_Molinari says:

    You don’t own a phone? Huh…

  71. Joe_Molinari says:

    I typically don’t use smoke signals.

  72. Jonathan Cockburn says:

    Lost number, forgot name, moved on.

  73. Voodoo Lady says:

    His ex still controlled his life.

  74. Voodoo Lady says:

    Not interested in raising your kid.

  75. Voodoo Lady says:

    His family was a total mess.

  76. Voodoo Lady says:

    Never assume you know me boys.

  77. Julie T-D says:

    Talked about sex life with ex-wife.

  78. Julie T-D says:

    He liked sexy lingerie–on himself!

  79. Julie T-D says:

    Watched the waitress’s ass during dinner.

  80. Julie T-D says:

    Tried to hit on my daughter.

  81. Voodoo Lady says:

    Not interested in all your problems.

  82. Voodoo Lady says:

    Religious freaks don’t belong with me.

  83. Voodoo Lady says:

    I met someone else that’s cuter.

  84. senorglory says:

    Oh My God! Leave Me Alone!

  85. Jonathan Cockburn says:

    1. My parrot warned repeatedly: “No Fucky”

  86. Brad Pitt says:

    My parrot warned repeatedly: “Star fucker!”

  87. Jonathan Cockburn says:

    2. After we met we never parted
    3.Would you call a vampire back?

  88. Jonathan Cockburn says:

    My parrot, Sophocles, chirped : “he sucks”

  89. Jonathan Cockburn says:

    !!!! Sorry….. should be:
    My parrot Sophocles shirped: “She sucks!”

  90. Jonathan Cockburn says:

    Ok, last really was a typo should read:
    My parrot, Sophocles, chirped: “She sucks”

  91. Voodoo Lady says:

    Laughing at him, not with him.

  92. Voodoo Lady says:

    Not particularly impressed by Nazi memorabilia.

  93. Dead Letter says:

    Marriage talk, is not marriage action.

  94. Dead Letter says:

    You’re right, requires too much explanation.

  95. Joe_Molinari says:

    I caught her screwing my dog.

  96. Joe_Molinari says:

    Visited the same OB/GYN as Octomom.

  97. Joe_Molinari says:

    She caught me screwing her dog.

  98. Joe_Molinari says:

    Told her I was Octomom’s OB/GYN.

  99. Dead Letter says:

    She likes whoring, I like marimba.

  100. Dead Letter says:

    Nymphomaniacs who read Dworkin are incomprehensible.

  101. Dead Letter says:

    Hello Kitty panties, cat urine odor.

  102. Dead Letter says:

    She wanted “someone who needs her”.

  103. Dead Letter says:

    Too beautiful to be making pornography.

  104. Dead Letter says:

    Husband in Spain, lover in Sardinia.

  105. Dead Letter says:

    Can’t get off without being hit.

  106. Dead Letter says:

    Two children, two fathers, triple-play?

  107. Dead Letter says:

    Casual sex isn’t worth the flight.

  108. LoraMarie says:

    He got my best girlfriend pregnant.

  109. Lora says:

    Thought he could get laid elsewhere.

  110. LoraMarie says:

    Told him my vibrator is better.

  111. LoraMarie says:

    Cried for his mommy during sex.

  112. LoraMarie says:

    Then he took his teeth out.

  113. LoraMarie says:

    Then his upper denture fell out.

  114. LoraMarie says:

    His chapped hands were like sandpaper.

  115. LoraMarie says:

    Me small. He big. Didn’t fit.

  116. LoraMarie says:

    He reads tabloids. I read classics.

  117. Miss Kibble says:

    “You smell like my mother.”

  118. Miss Kibble says:

    He wore his socks to bed.

  119. Dead Letter says:

    Asked for money for dental work.

  120. Dead Letter says:

    Approached me for wedding gift threesome.

  121. Dead Letter says:

    Offered literature on inferiority of Jews.

  122. Dead Letter says:

    Alistair Crowley is not a philosopher.

  123. Dead Letter says:

    Wasn’t attracted, got tired of pretending.

  124. Dead Letter says:

    Nice girl, friends are all slags.

  125. Dead Letter says:

    I worked days, she worked nights.

  126. Dead Letter says:

    Suffocated by undesirable women, no time.

  127. Dead Letter says:

    Married lawyer boyfriend, clairol pubic hair.

  128. Dead Letter says:

    I’m tired, gonna have a nap…

  129. Dead Letter says:

    She didn’t say no to drugs.

  130. June@ says:

    Lonely at home,this is real!!!

  131. Dead Letter says:

    Explosive sex. Meanwhile: father vandalizes car.

  132. Dead Letter says:

    Only started calling after single motherhood.

  133. Dead Letter says:

    Kept calling me Micheal (her ex).

  134. Dead Letter says:

    Saw her in a 1-900 ad.

  135. Dead Letter says:

    Her brother’s screenplay mischaracterized her friends.

  136. Dead Letter says:

    Great person, not into guys, sorry.

  137. Dead Letter says:

    Drunkenly asserts “could still have” me.

  138. Dead Letter says:

    Third date, meeting friends: topless bar.

  139. Dead Letter says:

    My sense of adventure wore out.

  140. Dead Letter says:

    Sincerely believes I’m involved in espionage.

  141. Dead Letter says:

    She keeps pushing new age religion.

  142. Dead Letter says:

    Saw her bookshelf, J.K. Rowling.

  143. Dead Letter says:

    Using me to get to ex.

  144. Dead Letter says:

    Lies more convincing than the truth.

  145. Dead Letter says:

    Keeps asking about my rich friends.

  146. Dead Letter says:

    Only likes what advances her socially.

  147. Erin Michelle says:

    He thought I was the one.

  148. Dead Letter says:

    Biological clock, pursued as without options.

  149. Dead Letter says:

    She was sleeping with teenage girls.

  150. Dead Letter says:

    Looked 25, acted 17, was 17.

  151. Dead Letter says:

    Used recreational drugs like a careerist.

  152. Dead Letter says:

    Co-opted past loves to appeal more.

  153. Dead Letter says:

    She moved to Chicago, both busy.

  154. Dead Letter says:

    Aggresses as if I’m attacking her.

  155. Dead Letter says:

    One’s an option, one’s a priority.

  156. Dead Letter says:

    Ingratiating oneself to my family: goodbye!

  157. Sue B. says:

    He just didn’t give me butterflies.

  158. Sue B. says:

    His skin flaked like grated cheese!

  159. Sue B. says:

    I’d rather talk to my cat.

  160. Sue B. says:

    Knew he was gay–he didn’t!

  161. Sue B. says:

    My heart told me not to.

  162. Sue B. says:

    Couldn’t untie his mother’s apron strings.

  163. Dead Letter says:

    Found new god for every man.

  164. Dead Letter says:

    Allowed her friend to be murdered.

  165. Dead Letter says:

    Bathtub meth, no business for ladies.

  166. Dead Letter says:

    Made a life to own another.

  167. Dead Letter says:

    Met some people who aren’t awful.

  168. Sue B. says:

    Lipstick-blotted tissue in garbage wasn’t mine.

  169. Dead Letter says:

    Inspired me… to find someone better.

  170. Dead Letter says:

    Yeast infection on face was clue.

  171. Dead Letter says:

    Referred to eco-terrorism as “direct action”.

  172. Dead Letter says:

    College on Ritalin, graduated to cocaine.

  173. Dead Letter says:

    I would, but feds would call.

  174. Dead Letter says:

    Couldn’t file jointly, “other, unspecified income”

  175. Dead Letter says:

    Didn’t know the prison phone number.

  176. Dead Letter says:

    Being polite got much too challenging.

  177. Dead Letter says:

    Organized dirty tricks for Hillary PAC.

  178. Dead Letter says:

    Was a dirty trick often herself.

  179. Dead Letter says:

    It would just break my heart.

  180. Dead Letter says:

    Can’t introduce her to my friends.

  181. Dead Letter says:

    Can’t bring her to work functions.

  182. Dead Letter says:

    Can’t bring her to church either.

  183. Dead Letter says:

    She’ll call back when it’s sorted.

  184. And the Winners of Six Words on “Why You Didn’t Call Back” Are… | Editors’ Blog says:

    [...] got intense in the comment section of our six words on “Why You Didn’t Call Back” contest, held to celebrate the release of Rachel Greenwald’s new book, Why He Didn’t Call You [...]

  185. Doug Lenox says:

    Number was scrawled where I sweat.

  186. Def Leppard says:

    Bought inflatable woman, she’s much quieter.

  187. Tanja Cilia says:

    I did not like his aftershave.

  188. Tanja Cilia says:

    He bit his nails and spat.

  189. Tanja Cilia says:

    He laughed when I ordered Perrier.

  190. Tanja Cilia says:

    He was not a perfect gentleman.

  191. Tanja Cilia says:

    He did not like to swim.

  192. Tanja Cilia says:

    He smoked and had dirty fingernails.

  193. Tanja Cilia says:

    He said he forgot his wallet.

  194. laura says:

    great looks, no job, smokes cigarettes

  195. marblecake says:

    She didn’t explain the prostitution situation

  196. marblecake says:

    Lovely girl, very smart, very tortured.

  197. marblecake says:

    “what if I’d committed a crime?”

  198. marblecake says:

    Seriously - someone needs to help sort that girl out, it’s a tragedy that I loved her as much as I did.

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