The SMITH Diaries Project

Can You Teach Someone How To Kiss?

Tuesday, August 22nd, 2006

By Frida in the City

A: French-speaking guy
B: Short, bald guy
C: Sports nut guy
D: Graphic designer guy
E: Guy with girlfriend
F: Thai-speaking guy
G: Italian guy
H: European jailbait
I: E.?s girlfriend?s ex-boyfriend

J: Bad kisser

I took a week off from men for a week (I know someone who has taken 2006 off from men.) To recap: relationships with A. and C. were placed on the DNR (do not resuscitate) list.

The break was just what the Love Doctor ordered, because things have picked up. I decided to go to a French language professionals’ dinner, hoping that the people there would be a little older and a bit more settled in life instead of the students who usually turn up. Granted, we are all there to speak French, but I do have a hidden agenda. I was the only non-European person at the table, but they all really made me feel at home. The only interesting guy there was J., a musician (guitar) who is cute as a button. He seemed very young, but eager to talk in an endearing way, and offered to drive me home. I checked my e-mail the next day and found a very sweet note from him, and patted myself on the back for going out on a limb and showing up at a dinner where I knew no one. Ladies, you see, you never know.

I couldn?t stop thinking about him, so when he called the next day I was pretty ecstatic. He said he?d like to take me to a great French grocery store in the suburbs that I?ve been dying to go to. I don?t have a car, so I?d never gotten over there in my three years in the city. We spent almost 12 hours together, talking and laughing. It?s nice to have so much in common with someone for a change, although he does keep the conversation mostly about himself. After dating a lot of men in their 20s, I?m used to that. The good ones come around eventually and start taking a real interest in my life, while there?s no hope with (or for) the really self-centered ones. He told me that he just broke up with his fianc?e a month earlier (read: ?I?m not ready for a relationship?) but I had fun and want to see where things will go. After loading up on foie gras and other goodies, he offered to come over to my place to make an authentic French dinner. Now let me see? easy on the eyes, can cook a mean bouillabaisse while I relax in front of the TV? this I can do. After dinner, we made out a bit and my expectations plummeted like a lemming. He is a bad kisser ? not just bad, but horrible. It?s kind of like a make-out session in high school. How can someone of his age be so inexperienced? He made a face not unlike a grouper and when I saw that coming at me, I thought, NO WAY. Still, I held out for a few minutes until I murmured something about taking it slow and shooed him out of my place. Since he made it clear he isn?t ready for a serious relationship, our other option is being friends with benefits. But what?s the point if someone is such a bad kisser that it?s a turn-off? (Friends with downsides?) So, the question: Can you teach someone how to kiss, and if you can, would it even be a pleasant process?

One response

  1. bob says:

    having sort of the same problem….with my new girlfriend ive been attracted to her for a long time but she just isnt a good kisser and i like to think of myself as fairly adequate at it…i want to show her some things she could do to really improve but i dont really know how to tell her that she needs improvement without coming off as an ass or offending her…any advise?

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