Uncle Sam wants you and he’s using MySpace.com to find your able-bodied butt! Hoorah!

An Associated Press story that popped up in Wired News reports that the U.S. Marine Corp has finally figured out where the kids hang out these days, and apparently it ain’t at the local strip mall.

I wonder if this has anything to do with Rupert Murdoch and his latest multi-gazzilion dollar purchase of MySpace??? Oh man, where’s Fox Mulder when you need him?

Anyway, too bad fighting an actual war isn’t as cool as the Marine’s actual MySpace profile — oh, but wait, they knew that already, which probably explains why they added all of those nifty bells and whistles to their profile.

The Marine Corps MySpace profile — featuring streaming video of barking drill sergeants, fresh recruits enduring boot camp and Marines storming beaches — underscores the growing importance of the internet to advertisers as a medium for reaching America’s youth.

“That’s definitely the new wave,” said Gunnery Sgt. Brian Lancioni at a Hawaii recruiting event. “Everything’s technical with these kids, and the internet is a great way to show what the Marine Corps has to offer.”

Dude, I’m still not signing up.

OK, maybe I’ll think about it, but only if the Bush twins are fighting alongside me.