Hot blonde mess, with big rack.
Backstory
My 13 year old repeated this at his birthday dinner last night, telling all of us how my husband described the young woman who greeted him at the desk when he checked in to his NYC hotel on Valentine’s Day. The "hot blonde mess” told him there was a surprise in his room (but neglected to say from his wife) to which he responded "I hope she's good looking."I had spent the better part of the day feeling guilty, and ignoring the considerable amount of work on my desk, to arrange for chocolate covered strawberries and a split of champagne to greet him in his room at the Fairfield Inn in Times Square. (No small feat to arrange in few hours on Valentine’s Day, even in NYC.) All of this to compensate for the "sin" of assuming (ass u me) that when one’s husband tells you he is spending Valentines night alone in hotel room in NYC, the holiday is pretty much off, only to be greeted that morning -- before he left -- with "what no card?"
When he got to his room he assumed (ass u me) that the gift was from the hotel, "because he is platinum Marriott member," AND because the lovely woman who set all of this up for me (not the hot blond mess) neglected to leave any indication that was from me, or perhaps instructed had the hot blonde mess to do so. So, still cardless (and clueless) he ate three of the six strawberries and then went back downstairs to offer the rest to the 'hot blonde mess' who no doubt though he was trying to pick her up, and looked 'uncomfortable.'
Finally after returning to his, room he called home and got my 13 year old on the phone. I watched as his dad related the story and he became increasingly confused and uncomfortable, looking at phone and looking at me quizzically, at which point, I instructed him to “give me the phone.” I asked my husband if he got a surprise in his room. He said yes (still not connecting the dots) and went on tell me how nice the Marriott people were, at which point I said “those were from me you boob,” leading him to share the story of his sharing (and apologize).
What we had there is a failure to communicate.
by notjustagirlintheworld in Six-Word Memoirs on Mar 10, 2013 | 
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T-shirt
Comments
jl333 says,
This will surely gets the guys attention! :Dmarymc says,
Every man's dream?Dean6805 says,
Wait... You have antlers?!L2L3 says,
A Wyoming elk?jl333 says,
That is quite the back story. Your memoir says it allL2L3 says,
Aye yi yi and oy.BanjoDan says,
Hi NJ, i have enough room in the doghouse for your husband to join menotjustagirlintheworld says,
Thanks BJD he is often for looking for some company :DBelieve says,
Please let us know the great extent he goes to in order to make this "lack of communication" up to you.canadafreeze says,
Fuck-a-doodle-do ...marymc says,
Oy gevelt. That is so not ok.ShellDeFelice says,
Charming. This makes me completely happy to eat Oreo's for dinner alone.Wench says,
If you don't own a doghouse, you could have him build one.Dragonflower says,
I am sort of speechless. Although not really. A version of this has happened to me. Men just really don't think of Valentine's Day the way women do. It would be obvious to us women that our loved one arranged something nice. Except, in my case, if that happened to me...I'd think (hope) it was from my bf, but it would have really been the Marriott folks.You were sweet to do something nice! Sorry it didn't work out the way you hoped. Hope your son is taking notes.... :)
jl333 says,
as you said in one of your previous memoirs..."I *AM* your trophy wife. He shall not forget.notjustagirlintheworld says,
To be fair (though truth be told I am loath to in the war between the sexes as I think men have such a huge advantage in general) we were/are going though a very stressful period (some happy, my son's bar mitzvah in early April, some very sad, the death of my husband's father) and for him tremendous job stress and we were having a lot of difficulty communicating on several levels some longer term shorter term so there really is some context here. And I have to own the fact that he really did 'just want a card' and really did 'ask my permission' about being away for meeting which happened to take place over Valentine's day which I 'granted' without a second thought and finally he and we are together and separately working doing a better job of saying what we mean and meaning what we say (after a mere 30 years together.) Last but not least there was some poetic license taken in the back story for dramatic effect but the actual six is a direct quote from the soon to be newly minted man.ShellDeFelice says,
Ahhh men, "you can't live with em and you just can't shoot em". Be proud of 30 years. That is a tremendous amount of work in the tinderbox. And, neither of you is on fire!Dragonflower says,
30 years! Wow! Just wow!notjustagirlintheworld says,
*only married (nearly 22) first date in 1985, married in 1991. As I recently told the son quoted above we thought long and hard which is to say that dad thought long and thought hard :DDragonflower says,
My wow still stands! My daughter was with her husband for ten years before they got married. She was bummed the counting had to start over again! I think it is great when couples are together for a long time whether officially married, or dating. I have said before, my patient relationship with my dentist lasted longer than my personal relationships!L2L3 says,
Congrats on being the featured backstory. Be sure hubby knows of his notoriety. Both are well deserved:-) Hehehehe...notjustagirlintheworld says,
Thanks L2, will NOT tell hubby (referred to LOML on spambook -- #2's description of Facebook, mine in particular) he would not be amused :DLoon says,
we are all so goddam human....here's a toast to our collective unconsciousAQScott says,
The "role model" who is teaching your son how to define women concerns me...good thing he has a strong, articulate Mom to do damage control :)JAD says,
Ditto to all, congrats!Bevvie says,
great story!notjustagirlintheworld says,
My darling husband talks a lot of sh*t but he knows where his bread is buttered :DShellDeFelice says,
I wish there was a "love that comment" option here. Loon is genius and you my dear are the perfect girl to wait and appreciate that your love will work through his occassional lapses and show back up the father and husband you chose to share your life with. I absolutely love this story!!!!Mourningdove says,
LOVE this story!Level1 says,
Oh my. I also agree with AQ on the description of the desk clerk and his comment about "I hope she's good looking".Other than that, this is a perfect example of how giving what we want does not guaranty that we will receive the reaction we ourselves would have given had we received that same gift. The best presents are those that speak to the other person, not ourselves. What gift do you think he would have liked to have received? He obviously did not "get" the strawberries.
notjustagirlintheworld says,
He really wanted a card..my mistake was over compensating, as for the comment to desk clerk, what can I say, he thinks that's funny and I know I'm not being objectified. I might well have said something similar in the same circumstances. I think his only real mistake was in telling my son the story is such 'vivid' detail. He may be about to be bar mitzvahed but he is not a man and he can't judge the funny factor when a man (even his dad) is acting like a boy.Level1 says,
Yes, allow your son his waning days of childhood, they will be gone soon enough. Better to bond over the details of the room and the view of Times Square then the TMI description of the desk clerk. Your son still has time enough ahead of him to figure out for himself what a hot, blond mess is ;-)RaisedByWolves says,
Clerk at a Super8 gave me a "hello" once. Sign said free TV, wink, wink!L2L3 says,
He, in fact, makes a darned good buttered bread. Yes, you may quote me;-Dnotjustagirlintheworld says,
L2 are you *trying* to start (another scandal here) or am I giving you too much credit :Doopsalittle says,
Congrats njgtw - love your story and your family :)favepeep says,
I feel like I missed something. Did your husband say to your son that he met/talked to a "hot blonde mess with a big rack?"L2L3 says,
Bread. The stuff served with dinner. Baguettes. Seasoned and buttered. Come back outta the gutter, girlie;-}Staraj says,
I'm wondering if you authored yet another classic six, notjustagirlintheworld. I refer to something you said several comments up. About thinking long and hard during the courtship. I'm probably venturing into sexist territory, but would this be accurate?He thought long. I thought hard.
notjustagirlintheworld says,
Yup :D