Six-Word Memoirs at SMITH Magazine

Arranging play dates for my husband.

Backstory

A friend of James emailed me. He asked how James was doing because he hadn't seen him in a while. When James could still drive, he would drive up and meet his bike club friends at the coffee shop on the Pacific Coast where they stop after the club ride every Saturday.

I replied to his email, "James is very sick. We are home every week-end in the afternoon. Stop by sometime. He is only good for a couple of hours."

That very week-end, Fred and Mark came by after their bike ride. They have been friends for 28 years. A house that sometimes has a omen of death came to life. After a few minutes with his friends, James looked as if he had just won a stage of the Tour de France. He sat taller, spoke with animation and for a couple of hours he was a healthy, competitive, muscular and strong bike-racer again.

I suppose it is uncomfortable to visit someone who has terminal cancer. But the conversation never got maudlin. It was all guy and gear talk. Sure James was tired when they left, but he was also more alive.

A week later, his two friends showed up again with two more friends. They even brought their own lunch, pizza for James, their own drinks and beer to make it easier for me. I would have happily fed a house full of true friends. That day, the balance of life to death shifted back to life on top.

by DynamicDbytheC in Six-Word Memoirs on Feb 17, 2013 | | T-shirt

Comments

jl333 says,

You should be playing with hubby...

DynamicDbytheC says,

jl333, that is always easy to arrange.

jl333 says,

Heart warming backstory. Those are true friends. Thanks for sharing

ShellDeFelice says,

So happy for both of you! I bet the friends were blessed as much or more by the visit. Hope today is good for you both.xoxo

Believe says,

This hits home for me (in regards to my dad). Love this.

canadafreeze says,

Love the backstory - warms my heart:-)

ba_miracle says,

so much love! Such good friends and an even better YOU! Sending more well wishes

catsmeow says,

Not everyone has the ability to do what his friends did (we've all been raised so badly in this regard). What treasures they are!

Level1 says,

I smiled when I read this. Old friends are the best friends :-)

accidentaltourist says,

Both a smile and a tear, for you and James. It's good to know who your friends really are.

marymc says,

It's always so sad when friends disappear during the tough times. They have no idea how much their presence helps. My hairdresser was best friends with my father-in-law before his stroke 6 years ago. Every 6 weeks he asks, "How's Elliot?" "He's well." "I should go see him." "Yes, you should." But he never does.

ba_miracle says,

Sometimes people simply don’t know how to react to another person’s illness, especially when it is considered terminal. Not for a lack of care or love but for a lack in skill in interacting.

Don’t know what to do or what to say so instead do nothing but attend the memorial and wish to have done more. Not unusual just unfortunate.

ErikaStellar says,

An inspirational back story. Thank you.

lillybrook says,

This is so great. It's true that people often stay away -- they don't want to be a bother, cause more work, interrupt rest, etc. etc. But a lot of friendship is just about showing up, being present, and sharing life.

I'm glad that you and James have friends that took you up on the offer and stopped by.

Dragonflower says,

I hope you know what a good and thoughtful wife you are, DDC! Sometimes it is the caregivers who keep visitors away for a variety of reasons. And, I would bet that James' friends didn't even see him as sick, they just saw their old friend and were glad. Always thinking of you both, every day.

mzejay says,

Thanks for sharing this story.

notjustagirlintheworld says,

wonderful story, we forget how much a little thing (to us) can mean...

favepeep says,

Thanks for sharing this wonderful story.

BanjoDan says,

True friends for a great couple!

L2L3 says,

What a great story and how lucky to have friends like that. Too often people forget that the dying are still living.

KharisJo says,

heartwarming story, great friends :)