Six Word Memoirs on Life Stories

KharisJo says,

If you hit back at a bully, you may well find yourself branded the problem. bullyonline.org has some great resources. Bullying is a complex problem and a culture of "blame the target" often exists. As a confident, competent woman I never expected to be bullied as an adult, but relocated positions due to the most insanely aggressive coworker, after her second rage attack. Management ignored the personal problems, accepting a pattern of resignations, whilst other coworkers pandered to her to avoid being targeted themselves.Targets are not necessarily weak, but may be popular, caring, sensitive or (for the competetive bully)good at what you do. Ultimately bullies have to live with themselves, and who really would want to get their sense of well being from aggression? Intelligence, creativity, spirituality and relationships are far more interesting.

Dragonflower says,

KJ, excellent comment and advice. One interesting fact is the misconception that targets are weak. You explained the dynamic of an adult bully very well, including other adult responses to manage being around a bully. It can be confusing to experience or witness. ciofki, best wishes as you find out more about dealing with this troubling problem so you can have a happy, healthy life!

ciofki says,

It really is no problem to hit a bully back harder. Understand this: Bully hits you. No reason other that bully is bullying. Solution: make sure bully understands consequences of bullying (hit bully back harder.) If you strike back hard enough, bully learns not to repeat unproductive behavior:) Problem solved, world at peace.

Dragonflower says,

That's another way of looking at it, ciofki. I had a friend who believed as you do. He didn't even have to hit anyone, he was so intimidating people just left him alone. The problem was, after a while, he forgot he was a good guy underneath, and became like a bully himself. It didn't happen right away, but eventually. He didn't fit in at social functions because he scared everyone and he forgot how to smile. I even had to give up on him when he started being more mean than nice to me. So, while I understand your point of view, I gently offer mine for consideration and thought.

ciofki says,

Your comments are well thought and without malice. But seriously, NO ONE is going to be intimidated by yours truly, as I am not tall (some say short:), about a hair on the plus side of truly average looking and getting old (late 40's) and chubby... So, no fear of me bullying someone

Dragonflower says,

Ok then. Good luck. Stay safe.

DynamicDbytheC says,

There is humor and irony in your memoir. That said, I have seen as well as experienced what Kharis Jo describes. I found ma new job with few bullies, the bullies are not enabled and they are outnumbered by the good people with common sense. Many adult bullies are narcissistic or borderline personalities which mean they live just fine with themselves. They see everyone else as the problem.