Restrict politicians to six-word utterances only.
BackstoryImplementation would require getting rid of the silly I-approve-this-message tags as you can see:
I’m Mitt Romney, and I approve this message. - Disallowed for two excess words.
I’m Barack Obama, and I approve this message. - Disallowed for two excess words.
However, once we get over that heartbreak, the political stuff would be reduced enough to make room for more commercial enlightenment about douches and hemorrhoid preparations.