Friends moving forward; I'm in neutral.
Backstory
These past few months have been challenging for me on a personal level. My co-workers are celebrating a myriad of life events -- weddings, births, adoptions -- and I'm jealous and envious. In a very ugly, "I'm-going-to-go-cry-in-the-corner" kind of way. I'm not proud of it. In fact I was pretty shocked by my reaction to some of the announcements. I feel like everyone else's life has forward momentum and I'm watching them leave me behind. Jealousy and envy are not attractive. In fact, I'm quite repulsed by it. You're the first people I've told, so if this gets back to me, I'll know who said something. by dakat123 in Six-Word Memoirs on May 30, 2012 | 
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Comments
Dean6805 says,
Sometimes we let the current carry us forward and don't realize we're making progress. Quit being so hard on yourself; you have accomplished much!dakat123 says,
Thanks, my friend. When I start recounting the events of the past 18 months, I know this to be true. What spurred this post was a very unexpected emotional reaction to a friend's good news. It was pure raw ugliness that is typically so not me. And I've had this ugly feeling toward several other announcements. The severity of that one instance though bewildered me. Someone else's joy should be my joy.KharisJo says,
You are very honest and self-aware and at least you realise, from that last sentence, that it is good to be happy for others. Joy and pain come to everyone in life, both are better shared. Good things will happen to you too and there's probably things about your life now that others wish they had. Cherish the unique person you are. Blessings.dakat123 says,
I am truly blessed. I've bought a house and a car in the past 18 months. I got the ideal job at the school that my kids attend. I've made some great new friends and had some interesting experiences. I'd say I've never been happier. All the more reason to be shocked by my response. Obviously, something's amiss.kismolnarzs says,
You are not bad, just very human:Dcanadafreeze says,
Having a safe place to express raw emotions without judgement is a gift. We are blessed that such a site exists. I say things here that I don't express otherwise.ton says,
I often feel this way. I am trying to not complain about being single any longer. I work in an environment that is mostly female. They are ALL getting married, just got married, starting or making additions to their families, bringing in pictures of their life's progress and I am still in the same place. I understand the ugly feelings. I'm not jealous but it is so painful to not share that joy.