Doctors said Aspergers, son heard ass-burgers.
Backstory
Last February, while driving my precious (now-15-year-old) son to pick out a Valentine’s Day gift for his first girlfriend, we were talking about the way that sweet kid with AS and Tourettes and on American Idol pronounced Aspergers, like "auspergers," which led to a discussion about the word Aspergers and the first time my boy heard it when he was diagnosed in 5th grade.Mom: It makes me wonder if the guy really has Aspergers, since he pronounces it “AUSpergers.”
Boy: That’s how Dad says it.
Mom: Oh my gosh, really? His own son has it, I think he (my ex-husband) should say it correctly.
Boy: Well, actually, auspergers is probably closer to the German pronunciation. You know, it was named after the Austrian doctor, Hans Asperger.
Mom: Yes, but we live in America. We say “Aspergers.” Short A.
Boy: But that sounds like ASS-BURGERS!
[much laughter in the car]
Mom: “Ma’am, your son has ass burgers.” (Boy laughs hard.) Does it hurt?
Boy: (laughing) That’s what I thought the first time I heard that word, when I was diagnosed! “Ass Burgers!”
Mom: Wow, is that really what you were thinking when the doctors delivered your diagnosis?
Boy: Yep.
Mom: Wow. What else do you remember from that day, from that moment?
Boy: Well, I remember Dad was there, and you and Daddy-o, and I got to sleep in that day and not go to school, and we listened to Beatles all the way downtown and all the way home.
Mom: So what were your thoughts when the doctors said you had Aspergers?
Boy: The first thing I thought was, “That’s a funny word,” and then, “Cool! I’m autistic!”
He is doing so unbelievably well—makes mostly As, is more organized, has friends, teachers adore him, he won the talent show—that lately we’ve wondered if he was misdiagnosed. Until he does or says something that reminds us that the AS is probably accurate.
Jack says maybe he just has ass-hotdogs.
by bbhead in Six-Word Memoirs on Jan 16, 2012 | 
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T-shirt
Comments
ctgoods2 says,
Despite the situation, this made me chuckle. Still giggling, in fact.bbhead says,
Good! It left us chuckling too!catsmeow says,
Thanks for the backstory. Wonderful!MrsPremise says,
Ass-burgers! I love it. Is that his sculpture? Very very nice!BanjoDan says,
enjoyed the backstory and memoir, thx for sharingBelieve says,
Love this!!bbhead says,
I didn't mean to be all, "Comment on my Backstory or else." It was just, you know, close to my heart. Tender. I guess that's the risk with posting true feelings and stories online, right? Anyway, yes, that's his sculpture. He's a phenomenal artist, and I'd post his entire collection of drawings if I could! :) He's the best.JAD says,
Funny!L2L3 says,
Love this!oopsalittle says,
Great story! Reminds me of a parent I met last year. She is of European descent. When she heard her son's diagnosis she thought the doctor said 'Asparugus Syndrome'!Kudos on feature and best wishes to you all!
oopsalittle says,
Great story! Reminds me of a parent I met last year. She is of European descent. When she heard her son's diagnosis she thought the doctor said 'Asparugus Syndrome'!Kudos on feature and best wishes to you all!
DynamicDbytheC says,
Poignant. I remember having a giggling fit at my first somber consult with Oncology 22+ years ago. Everyone looked at me like I was nuts. I just got this incredible laughing jag. Finally, I said, "hey, I am the sick one here and if I wanna laugh I am going to." It is so sweet that you both can laugh about it. If we teach our children a lighter approach to the serious side of life, I think they will do pretty darn good in life. And he clearly is happy and thriving. Thanks for the beautiful story. And did you say ASS?Bevvie says,
great story and family sense of humorMrsPremise says,
Love it so much I had to say it twice.My youngest son was the most difficult to raise. I've mentioned before that we both have wondered if he is on the spectrum. He's graduating in fine arts this spring and looking at graduate school. It hasnt' been easy for either of us, but he's finally on his way.
lillybrook says,
Think we all struggle with ass-burgers from time to time (and Asperger's too) -- it's good to see the world from a unique perspective. Most people who are truly brilliant beat to a different drum.majormajor says,
My ex never tires of this. Why he is my ex, at this point.udonthanidave says,
Just spit out half my soda. Thanks and hope all goes as well as possible.bbhead says,
@udonthanidave: mission accomplished. your comment fills me with glee.Thanks por da nub, everyone else.
jdsilencio says,
I love it!AlexisLesure says,
This is wonderful..... my doctor said that she wanted to test my sister for that and she laughed for almost 3 hours(not kidding) until someone explained to her that that is not how you pronounce it....hopesprings says,
I love your memoir and the backstory...thanks for sharing it. Your son's sculpture is amazing, too!Jujeebal says,
I love it. Kids are great! Nice sculpture....tan... says,
your son is awesome! great memoir.jl333 says,
Laughed out loud! Thanks for making my day!Bevvie says,
kudos on the MOTDbbhead says,
Thanks, Bevviebaby!biibklon says,
Ummm, i don't want to assume anything but you guys know that ther's a Southpark-Episode aired on 10.05.2011 named "Ass Burgers" which is about the exact same topic?Sagacious says,
I'd have probably heard "muffin-burger".bbhead says,
biibklon - what would you assume? This happened to us a year ago, if you're implying that I'm plagiarizing or anything. ;)Bevvie says,
we love your story.