Six Word Memoirs on Life Stories

ShellDeFelice says,

Laughing,,,grapes have pits? How did I miss that??

maryjane31 says,

Never heard of these grapes of which you speak.

L2L3 says,

They're seeds, not pits.

marymc says,

Masochists.

catsmeow says,

I'm all in favor of a well-placed fuck.

L2L3 says,

Having read the memoirs of everyone who has commented here, I would like to reference the pot-kettle-black saga.

RaisedByWolves says,

Some people drink flavored vodka, fig.

RaisedByWolves says,

I also think it's unwise to have toothpicks stuck in them,

L2L3 says,

Having read the memoirs of everyone who has commented here, I would like to reference the pot-kettle-black saga.

ShellDeFelice says,

catsmeow, you are hysterical! My favorite comment in a while. Loon, don't let anyone tell you that you can't pull off or stack some literary wood. It's all about timing and knowing your audience and, "Baby, you've got the goods."

Loon says,

thanks, Shell....'tis fun to yank the chains of the sanctimonious prudes...

Loon says,

catsmeow rocks

catsmeow says,

:-)

RaisedByWolves says,

This memoir was the pits ;•)

Staraj says,

The unseeded grapes caused unneeded wrath.

catsmeow says,

It WAS the pits. Now it's just seedy.

catsmeow says,

Best comment ever, Staraj.

lovelylizard says,

I love how Loon gets right to the point and makes me crack up in the process. The rest of you are not too shabby either!

Staraj says,

Best placement ever, catsmeow. :-)

RaisedByWolves says,

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”


― Theodore Roosevelt

canadafreeze says,

Amen.

Believe says,

TUENMUN,
Although quite often you will find exceptional writing on this site, I would like to point out that these are memoirs. The New Oxford American Dictionary defines memoir as "a historical account or biography written from personal knowledge or special sources." That means that the writers here, a website that specializes in personal memoirs, are allowed to write from personal knowledge. In fact, we are encouraged to.

That being said, I fuck. I don't participate in the act of coitus. And I've met a few assholes (I like to think of the word asshole as a metaphor). And I've witnessed people getting the shit scared out of them. Literally.

I am not illiterate. I can even explain in detail the arguments for and against the use of the Oxford Comma. Although you may have a grasp on the use of the English language, your social skills may need a review.

Plus, which makes more sense? Leave to singularly participate in coitus or go fuck yourself.

ShellDeFelice says,

Oh man, I take it back. There is a Smith mother hen...uhhh mother bear... she is wicked smart and can give a concise stinging ass whippin.

TheUnknownComic says,

Cat's Meow - Is there a bad place?
Believe - best explanation for the necessity of the word
Shell - maybe she just needs a fuck!, either way I obviously wouldn't "coitus" her

jl333 says,

Are we still talking about grapes?

ShellDeFelice says,

I heart JL

RaisedByWolves says,

For what it's worth, I was an unseeded competitor, and also pithless.b

catsmeow says,

Unknown Comic- Yes.

catsmeow says,

Believe- Perhaps it would be appropriate to reference the band "Vampire Weekend" and the lyric, "Who gives a fuck about an Oxford comma".

Believe says,

Cats- Laughing.

catsmeow says,

Well, I may not be able to argue for or against it but I've got my modern cultural references straight. :-)

Believe says,

Oh, Cats, I don't actually care one way or the other. Mainly because I have more things to worry about than Oxford Commas and Loon's potty mouth. I merely understand both sides of the argument.

catsmeow says,

I get it. And I choose not to argue, but I love it that you, in effect, did so for me, B.

Believe says,

TUENMUN,

You will not find my writing full of obscenities. I was just pointing out that this website pulls a variety of individuals and it is, in fact, a site dedicated to memoirs.

Staraj says,

What's obscene? The word "fuck"? Or the act of fucking over innocent, guileless, and defenseless people? (Eliminate that Oxford comma, if you are so compelled. But please do likewise to those fucking assholes.)

L2L3 says,

Grapes seeded with wrath. You just never know which way the wind blows here. The pissing and moaning about the "fuck" piece might have gone without comment but for the implication that a longstandimg member with a higher degree of literacy that most any six of us combined, had poorly disguised insults directly fired at him. Maybe he that threw the first stone should spend some time interacting on a less combative plane before engaging in the aforementioned crap. Maybe that message has already revealed itself.

Loon says,

all in all, a debate not without humor.....thanks for your support, L2L3....the First Amendment loves you

Believe says,

The joke is on us. Without the antagonist, we all seem bloody mental.

catsmeow says,

Wow, I didn't realize you could make comments disappear. There have been a couple of times I would have made mine go away.

Staraj says,

I'm wondering if HE went away. Heck, this thread was a walk in the park compared to Vaginal Spittoons. That one would have crucified him. (But perhaps he already considers himself a martyr.)

ShellDeFelice says,

Whoa! I learn something new here everyday. Believe is right, now we just look like a bunch of lunatics.

Believe says,

From what I can tell, he deleted his account. Which was NEVER my intention. I come here to play nice. I like to think that others do to. I have found myself on opposite pages than other members at times, so I choose not to comment on their memoirs. It would be cool if others did not make personal attacks as well.

catsmeow says,

Believe, you play nice AND well.

Staraj says,

Believe redux:

"Although quite often you will find exceptional writing on this site, I would like to point out that these are memoirs. The New Oxford American Dictionary defines memoir as 'a historical account or biography written from personal knowledge or special sources.' That means that the writers here, a website that specializes in personal memoirs, are allowed to write from personal knowledge. In fact, we are encouraged to."

T.R. redux (via RAISED-by-WOLVES.2.0):

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."

Intimidated by challenging repartee, the petty grab their ball and go home. Leaving the arena to those gladiators who enjoy hurling opinions — as well as mixed metaphors. And sometimes, "mixing it up" is intended to do nothing more than generate a harmless chuckle. (Indeed, is not a good sense of humor contingent on good sense?)

Lunacy? Probably. This website has most of us over the moon. Where such questions as these germinate: Who the fuck would buy contrived indignation about who the fuck would buy seedless watermelons for a watermelon seed spitting contest?

Loon says,

love the allusions, Staraj....keep 'em coming

three-monkeys says,

This comment thread makes me feel like I am back in college, smoking pot, and everyone is talking about something quite simple and obvious to them, while I am left alone on my marijuana island wondering why pot makes me so dumb and paranoid. What are you guys talking about? What am I missing?!!!

Loon says,

dear 3Monk,....it's tangents, exploding

three-monkeys says,

Sort of like a seedless grape explodes in your mouth, unhindered by all those fucking seeds?!

L2L3 says,

Fuck yeah. Believe is correct. Only The benevolent dictator can delete individual comments, otherwise it means that the entire account has been closed. The owner of said account alluded to Loon as being illiterate due to the use of the word "fuck" in his memoir. Reminds me of when someone else referred to Loon as an "idiot" except that few wagons circled in that instance. In fact, the wagons often remain parked in their barns here.

ShellDeFelice says,

My Mama used to say, "If your gonna start a fight, best be sure your big boy pants are tightly belted, much less embarrassing if your only option is to turn tail and run"

Not so sure that gentleman was even in big boy pants, considering some lovely ladies sent him from pouting to exile.

I honestly only mean fun, ever. I wasn't trying to scare anyone off.

Staraj says,

Huh? I thought this thread was about particle physics. Fuck!

ShellDeFelice says,

Damn, I wish we could edit our comments. You're gonna... not your gonna...duh!

Believe says,

Particle Physics?!? I thought it was about sex!!! And I thought seeded grapes meant.....

catsmeow says,

And Oxford comma meant...

Believe says,

At least catsmeow was on the same page as me!

Staraj says,

Nope. This could only be about sex if accidentaltourist was the author. I'm stammering and sputtering just thinking about what that woman could do with grapes and Oxford commas . . . and missing seeds.

Believe says,

Where do you think you'd find the seeds, Staraj?

Staraj says,

An X-rated answer is forming in my mind. And that's precisely where it will remain. :-|