Six Word Memoirs on Life Stories

illuminatrix says,

Let's see. *Consider the LONG WIND alarm blaring* Certain levels of 'intelligence squared' (Timothy Leary's metaphorical model) have been achieved, in that I more frequently see things (and situations) through my own perceptual eyes and those of a larger, more objective perspective simultaneously. Intelligence studying intelligence. This is basically acknowledgement that there is a catalog of subroutines that everyone has been programmed with down to the very ways we visualize and describe the nature of reality. Trying to get in touch with the deeper self, the rawer humanity, has taught me to strive to gain some measures of control over those things that can be controlled, and develop a sense of the larger matrix of occurrences and how better to maneuver in there physically and metaphysically.

Although various programs, drives, inclinations, rules, cultural mores and ritual demands are a part of each of us and can never be fully deleted, they can be visualized as a type of cloak or costume that can be shed at certain times. Only then can we glimpse who and indeed what we are and are made of. There exists the possibility for an analytical dissection and break-down, a symbolic death, followed by re-construction, redesign, renovation, rewiring, reprogramming of the self/psyche/mind set, a symbolic resurrection.

Basically, to the extent that anyone can, they try to both prolong and improve the conditions of their existence, and through the complex matrix of pattern recognition and 'understanding' that is a human nervous system, improving the conditions necessarily includes improving how that person feels. And how that person feels is to a large degree influenced by how that person currently values their continue existence. So using any method that exists, we endeavor to reprogram ourselves for happier, healthier, more aligned, balanced and beneficial lives. Sometimes, our computers just get bogged down and simply need a reboot. Then, the self-evident things flash in front of us like a slide show animation, and we recall a large measure of what's really important about why we're here. To close this loop and in summary, I've learned bits and pieces about how to see through a wider set of eyes (and to re-examine all events in a multitude of emotional settings as well). But, like everything, every Work is always a work in progress.

Additionally, I've improved my intuition to the point that I have been having almost daily occurrences of noteworthy synchronicities. I don't claim that there is any grand meaning to them, only that I noticed these interconnections between disparate events or things due to the connective framework of understanding via the matrix of consciousness (I connected those dots). And those things happened within short spans of time as well. As in, some question was lingering, and the information presented itself completely unconsciously.
I always find these interesting, coincidences that seem to be linked and related to some deep question you're chewing on. I've still got a lot of work to do with my intuition (damn you, Being Right Handed!), but I temper my fierce analysis (read: compulsively analytical tendencies) with meditative tendencies, thus balancing both the tumult and the silence within my 'mind'. My problem about intuition is that I can't get over the impression that the pressure to keep facts, info and memories straight and neatly categorized up top is so high that it's typically very hard to release control enough to let the faint rays of intuition shining in. Improving intuition remains another important goal, as well as simply having more control over the off-button of my own analytical tendencies, so that I can enjoy the beneficial brain waves (of relaxed states, and all the other benefits) more readily.

My distrust of dogma remains just as strong as ever, but I'm finally beginning to understand the desires of religiosity, the spiritual cravings within people. Perhaps it was a glut of youthful confidence, but faith in logic, paying attention, learning, art, pleasure, and life was enough for a long time, for me to be satisfied--for me to not be dominated by the fear of my own mortality. I didn't feel the need to extend my metaphors past a certain point, for example beyond the point of death. But now, more ideas have awoken within me, and now the most revered knowledge of humanity has gained a large degree of interest for me. But I remain as curious as ever, wanting to know things about all the spiritual systems of the world and of the past as well; I refuse to bind myself to one exclusively, because I can't un-see the pride in claiming that you have found the one true answer (to what endless sea of questions?). All I can hope to do is to imbibe as much of this symbolic and practical wisdom as I can, allowing it to digest and re-synthesize, producing newer, more inclusive ideas about spirituality, as they pertain to me--eventually bearing fruit for me in the way of spiritual knowledge, or knowledge of the deeper self and what it is intertwined with. I have no desire to proselytize. But interesting things demand comment. Some new part of me has awakened. That is what I sought and am seeking.

illuminatrix says,

Please feel free to ask me to unpack things too. Sometimes they start über-complex but can be filtered down to comprehensible levels. Sometimes they just need a hint of context. I'm just a fan of max info in smallest space, even if it takes several readings to crack it.