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Maybe renaming son "Heidi" would work.



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My father-in-law is the only biolgical grandparent my son has ever known. The others are all deceased. My son is by far the youngest grandchild of seven. They're spread all over the country and at times, the world. Some make the effort to stay in touch with their grandfather and some don't. I make the 13 hour drive at least 2 or 3 times a year and recently more often, to be sure my son has a chance to spend time with his only living grandparent. Heidi, one of the other grandchildren, puts the very least amount of effort into seeing "Grandaddy." It had been over six years since she'd seen him when she called to say that she'd be an hour away, in Tampa and would be willing to meet him at the airport for a brief visit. So...he cancelled dinner plans with us to drive to the airport, at night (he's 88) to see her. Okay. I get it. We then find out that there was no particular reason that she chose the airport nor was there any reason for her not to drive her presumptive, inconsiderate self to his house to visit. We made plans to go out for lunch with Gramps a couple days later, stopped to pick him up at the designated time, only to have him announce that he preferred to stay home and watch the football game. I reminded him that we would be leaving the next day and it would likely be several months before he would see Channing again. He replied, "Yes, you've already told me that." It took me about 60 seconds of deep breathing before I blew. It was not pretty. There was a reminder of the lack of folks beating down his door to spend time with him and how taken for granted his youngest grandchild now seemed to be. I have resigned from being a thoughtful daughter-in-law and relationship-glosser for an 88 year-old alcoholic who believes that he rules the world of his making. My son will just have to someday cope with the reality of drawing the short grandparent straw. There, that's my family crap for the year.

by L2L3 in Six-Word Memoirs on Dec 26, 2012 | add favorite | T-shirt

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Comments

L2L3 says,

Well, I feel better anyway.

Believe says,

He will learn to replace a grandparent here and there with wise individuals that WANT to be involved in his life. I know of what I speak.

L2L3 says,

He has a couple of those, thank goodness, and they're within an hour of us.

accidentaltourist says,

I'm so sorry you have to deal with that. I know it well. A wise friend told me yesterday something that made so much sense: there was a time in the history of our species when connection to our "tribe" was vital for survival. This is no longer true, yet we often find ourselves jumping through hoops to keep these familial bonds tight...and getting hurt when our tribe seems indifferent to something so important to us. Time to find a new tribe, my friend said....one we share more than just DNA with.

Believe says,

Or write a novel about a boy that is sent to live with his grandfather in the mountains. Oh wait, that's Heidi.

Wench says,

It is a terrible feeling for a child to feel unwanted by a grandparent. But if that's the case, I'm with you - it's better for them just not to be around them to feel the unwantedness.

By the way, 'Channing' is an awesome name.

L2L3 says,

Is husband's and great grandfater's and great, great grandfather's, etc... name. Made the choice oh so easy;-D

Believe says,

It's an especially good name if your last name happens to be Tatum.

Redx3 says,

Selfishly grateful that we aren't alone. Channing is lucky he has you to right the wrongs, champion his cause, and to someday rewrite the histories with new victors. That is what we intend to do.

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