Feels like I'm cheating on him...?
Backstory
I met someone this past weekend and we really hit it off. Today we were walking around after school together just trying to get to know each other better, but I kept getting these looks from my friends like 'what do you think you're doing?' Isn't high school supposed to be about trying new things like this? And just when I thought I was becoming more of a 'normal' teenager people are against me... Anyways we were walking around and I passed my best guy friend. Him and I have this weird relationship that he's basically my brother but I don't really know where we stand most of the time; he's just always there for me and I am the same for him. Ask anyone and they'll say we're going to end up together. Even one of my teachers today asked if we were going to prom together next year. Both of us responded with an, 'ew. No way. Are you kidding?' Anyways I saw him in the hallway while I was with this new guy and it felt weird.. We're not together but were so close that it felt strange to have him see me with someone else.. Is that normal? by Layne in Six-Word Memoirs on Love & Heartbreak on Mar 04, 2013 | 
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Comments
Dragonflower says,
First, I think it is great you are meeting new friends, if they are nice to you and good guys. You deserve only the best, Layne. I'm a little confused about your friends' reactions to you. Do your friends think you and your guy friend are sweethearts? Is that why they gave you the weird looks? Or do they not like that new guy for some reason? That's my first question.Then I want to answer your question about your own confused feelings about being with another guy by asking another question. How would you feel if you saw your best guy friend with another girl? Would that feel strange as well? Or no?
When guys and girls have close friendships, it is sometimes not clear whether they are just friends, or potentially more. Could you talk to him about it? It might help him as well to know he would have your blessing if he met a girl he liked. Potentially awkward conversation, but it might help to avoid any hurt feelings later on. Guys are usually pretty shy about talking about their feelings. I remember avoiding such conversations because I was pretty shy myself (still am) and inadvertently hurting someone. I also remember being brave and having a conversation and getting hurt myself by the guys reaction! You are a very kind person, so I'm sure you will know best how to proceed with you best guy friend.
And, by the way, this happens at all ages and it is always a difficult situation. At least in my experience in my lifetime.
Good luck to you as you figure this out.
TheAngstyPoet says,
I echo Dragon Empress.The world is your oyster, it's meant to be explored. Best of luck, Layne.
Layne says,
DE, I met this new guy at a school dance. It's totally against my nature to think anything of a school dance encounter, let alone still talk to those I um, met really ever again. This new guy was a friend of another close guy friend of mine, so that's maybe why its different. He also was surprisingly respectful towards me, so that's also a plus. Still, I dont think my friends really thought highly of the situation, especially if ive decided to give him a chance after the circumstances of our meeting. Again, this is totally different form what i'd usually believe. That's why they arent so approving of it...I've thought about your second question a lot today. I think it may be weird to see my best guy friend with a different girl to be honest. Maybe its just because weve never been as close as we are now, and I don't want anything to mess that up; that definitely would. The crazy thing then is that by talking to this new guy, I am messing things up, arent i? Maybe because I dont know exactly what my best guy friend thinks of our relationship. We fight like siblings but nothing makes me smile like his stupid sarcastic humor can.
so, thank you for your help. I just really dont know what to make of all this...
Dragonflower says,
Well, no, you aren't messing things up exactly. TheAnstyPoet is right, the world is your oyster and you are entitled to explore it. You can certainly talk and get to know lots of people. Nothing wrong with that.There is an old song Barbra Streisand sings that I always liked. It is the credits song in the movie, The Mirror has Two Faces. I'd have to look it up to be sure, but I think one of the lines goes, "we started out as friends..." Sounds like you have a really nice friend, it may lead to more, it might not and you'll be friends forever. This may be one of those times not to over think things too much. Just stay calm and friendship on.
Layne says,
DE, I don't know what I would do without you:) thanks so much for the advice!Dragonflower says,
I used to worry so much about getting things right, when I was your age, I never really learned how to just feel my feelings! My daughter and I learned together when she was three, with the help of Mr. Rogers. I hope you will learn to trust your own intuitive self more. It seems like you're getting good at it; just tell your brain to settle down! :)