Six Word Memoirs on Life Stories

Dhani says,

Eat less, MOVE more...

Redhead2001 says,

That's the best you could contrive?

Dhani says,

It's not 'contrived', my friend -it's common sense. Exercise/ eat less. ('Man is complicated, God is simple.')

Redhead2001 says,

Please be more original. Kindness matters.

Blackbird1111 says,

Sweetheart, love comes because you breathe. Your weight is irrelevant. Wait for it. It will come. But you have to try and love yourself first.

Dhani says,

The truth is always 'kind', even when it hurts. Blackbird has the point: FIRST love yourself, the rest (a gorgeous, toned, slim body?) will follow, no?

ba_miracle says,

Dhani, you weren't asked for your ...sarcasm on* never heard before -groundbreaking diet advice.
You don't know the lengths another person is going through to get their own health concerns under control.

The inference that to get love someone will first have to have "a gorgeous, toned, slim body"...Really? That is your Course in Miracles version of love and kindness?
The truth is not always kind but if can be given in a kind manner.


Redhead2001,
One a lighter but serious note. There are people out there with a fetish for larger people, they desire weight.
I hope romance finds you and that you do continue to love yourself as well.

Dhani says,

Miracle: I 'don't know the lengths another person is going through to get their own health concerns'? REALLY? So my two-year encounter with a fatal type of cancer & my successful overcoming of it counts for naught?

I placed a question mark after 'gorgeous & toned' 'cuz I thought that might not be the memoirist's goal. I didn't imply that one needs a great body to encounter true love. (God knows that's true for me in my own love-life experiences!)

I still say a common-sense diet & exercise, rather than pílls & plastic surgery is a common-sense way of losing weight. Her topic is 'fatness' as an obstacle to romance -or is 'fat' now a dirty, 'unkind' word?

PS I still say have fun on this site -take things with a grain of salt, build up a thicker skin (Get a life! Be sarcastic if you have to make a salient point!)

ba_miracle says,

It is the very idea that anyone has to do anything other than “be” to be loved.
It is not only a person who says they are obese who feels the restraints of not being loved perfectly for some odd reason or another...
I’m too, fat, skinny, ugly, old, young, sick, broke, (red headed;-) (I’m red headed too;-). I’m not “enough”.
Whatever the qualifier is that we attach to the fear of not being truly loved.

I assure everyone... believe that love is possible beyond whatever surface reason or limitation you’re putting on yourself or allowing “the world” to pin on you.

Look around...you will see some of the oddest looking people matched up (and I have an appreciation for odd looking people).
You will also notice some of the most seemingly unlovable nastily behaving people being completely loved by someone else. (Those types make it more difficult to appreciate).

Dhani,
It is that you attached a qualifier to romance or love, then brought god into it.
That’s what got my little girl shorts into a bundle.

I am aware of your successfully won battle with cancer (thankful that you won), your survival does not put you above having manners nor has it apparently given you any insight towards what another human being may possibly be struggling with.


You know your struggle; you do NOT know another person’s...no one does.
Your suffering (and thankful conquering) does not disqualify everyone else’s experience...no one suffers more than the person going through their difficult circumstance.

No one said anything about pills or surgery...you’re being especially incite-full today.
Who needs thick skin? It only serves to keep people out.


Not the welcome wagon I would have liked to roll out to my fellow redhead.
My apologies if I have been a rude guest in your memoir Readhead2001.

Amapola says,

Readhead2001, the only thing I wanted to say before I came across this thread of comments, is that love comes to you in the same measure that you love yourself, regardless of looks or size. It's the beautiful essence of your soul, not 'their' perception, the very source of all the love you deserve. I am positive that someone is out there ready to appreciate you for who you are.

ps: I don't know how familiar you are with this community, but please don't let Dhani's comments put you off.

Bevvie says,

I just want to echo the positive comments above. Ignore Dhani! He won't go away, but ignore him. And you can report him to Larry.

Sagacious says,

I've just skimmed this comment thread, but Dhani has a point re diet and exercise. Regardless of your weight, aerobic exercise (which, granted, usually isn't fun) will make the world of difference to your outlook. If your GP agrees, I'd look at starting a walking program then, over time, morph that into a running program. If you have a dog, take it along with you. If your bothered by the stares and comments, run (or swim or bike ride) when there aren't many people around. The thing is that every little success you have will (hopefully) motivate you to strive for even MORE success. It's not going to be easy, but you've got to start somewhere. Can you afford a personal trainer? Even if you're not well off financially, there's usually SOMETHING you can do to at least improve your situation a little. I've read any number of stories about obese people who have had enormous success losing weight and, most importantly, began FEELING better through the right advice and a solid work ethic because, ultimately, it's all about how you are actually feeling rather than how you look and a strong aerobic capacity does wonders in that regard. Think long and hard about your options, then get stuck in. I know you can do it. Best wishes.

KharisJo says,

I'm married to a wonderful man whose weight falls into the obese range and whilst I would like him to lose some weight for his own health sake ( I don't want him to die prematurely) it certainly does not stop romance! Intelligent conversation, respect, shared values, encouragement, these things are of far more importance in the long run. By all means work on your fitness if you want to, but make an inventory of all the good and positive things about yourself that are yours right now. For example maybe you're kind, or love animals or are well-groomed or enjoy music or have a beautiful laugh, or many many other things. What talents and interests do you have? Don't sell yourself short. Get out there Bluey (for some unknown reason, redheads are called Bluey in Australia) enjoy your life, believe in yourself and I believe you will find what you desire. All the best.

Wench says,

I hope you find love - we all deserve to be loved as we are. I was loved as I was, which was my biggest inspiration to change.

Bevvie says,

Listen to the ladies!

Dhani says,

(No!, try being more 'Universal': Listen to the ladies AND the gentlemen!)

Dhani says,

SIX: 'STARVED for affection: she ate chocolate.'

Bevvie says,

Listen to the ladies!

Sagacious says,

Obesity may or may not be the reason romance hasn't found you, but you'll definitely feel better being fitter and healthier. It really is a case of taking baby steps; two steps forward, one step back- that sort of thing. But, if you're happy being fat, then losing weight isn't the issue. Hey, we're all gonna die at some point and, let's face it, getting fit DOES take the sort of commitment that many of us aren't prepared to make. All good. Anyway, there are plenty of people out there who find the obese incredibly sexy and wouldn't be seen dead making love to a skinny person! You've just got to place yourself where they can see you. I'm not interested in some childish "ladies v gentlemen" bullshit war here, only in giving you some ideas to consider.

Bevvie says,

You are the childish one. There is no "war" here, just a reference to the positive comments from the ladies above. Believe me, I am not interested in YOU. You are a very unpleasant person who gets more and more unpleasant by the day. You are always looking to start a "fight" over some imagined slight. This is not your memoir. Go spew your venom on your own memoirs as you usually do.

Sorry, Redhead2001.

DynamicDbytheC says,

Men are very visual.

Sagacious says,

Tsk tsk. Talk about venom! I know you have your problems at the moment, and I DO sympathise, but there's no need to take your frustrations out on someone just trying to throw some (hopefully) helpful ideas at our romantically-challenged memoirist. I hope I've been successful in that regard. Keep the faith, Reddo.

DynamicDbytheC says,

Sag, I am stating a scientific fact. That said, I am visual, too. I love my beautiful husband. Now that he is no longer an athlete and walks with a cane, I still see him as beautiful as the day I met him.
Reddo, read some books on the topic. I learned a lot from, "He says, she says." I can't recall the author but it discusses the different way men and women communicate. I believe it improved my ability to communicate with my husband and the opposite sex in general. I learned a lot from Barbara De Angelis. She has great books based on research. Ask Barbara: The 100 Most Asked Questions About Love, Sex, and Relationships. Most can be found at the library. And some of the above tips sound useful as well. There is more to relationships than size, a lot more.

DynamicDbytheC says,

Reddo, I forgot to put it as a book. "Ask Barbara: The 100 Most Asked Questions About Love, Sex, and Relationships." by B. De Angelis.

Sag, please see my memoir of the day. I guess I lived up to it. Up on my broom.

"Costume unnecessary to be a witch."

Sagacious says,

Dearest Dynamic. My last comment was NOT directed at you.

DynamicDbytheC says,

Next time I will red the entire thread.

Believe says,

I do not want to comment upon these comments. I do however want to comment on the original memoir.

Be louder. Love may be hard of hearing. It will find you if you keep trying to find it!

Dhani says,

Sag: Your points are salient.

Sagacious says,

Thanks, Dhani. I'm pretty sure everyone here wants Redhead to find romance- whether as an obese person or not. If nothing else, I hope she takes away a few ideas to ponder and, hopefully, find some romance- which was the whole point of this six. Right?

Amapola says,

Oh my oh my - Redhead2001, tell us, from all these comments, what is useful to you? I dislike how people start arguing about what is the 'best' for you without taking an interest in who you are, what your history is, what your current situation is like. It is a sensitive issue for you, and many others, and it has taken an unpleasant tone here. I'm really sorry that this is how you got to know this community. If you keep this thread from going on, I humbly advice you to RAISE your voice and give it a context in which we could focus on YOU, in YOUR context.

Blackbird1111 says,

Take a deep breath. You're strong. You are a wonderful writer and I hope the best for you. Just remember to love. "All you need is love."

Redhead2001 says,

Thank you everyone but Dhani. I have asked Dhani not to comment anymore so now I need to report him to Larry. I appreciate the positive feedback on my writing. I like this format as an outlet :) My weight at this point is irrelevant to my writing. This was just something at the top of my head. I had a writing outburst on finding this site and will keep posting memoirs. Thank you for the genuine welcomes and comments.

Dhani says,

Yes, Redhead -The Fairy Godmother has granted your wish & Larry has gotten on my ass today (Oct.23) & threatened to pull the plug on all of my writing. So be it! Yes, Larry: So much for 'free speech' & a nurturing environment for up & coming writers. It's an obstacle when the Godfather of a literary hates your guts as a person & as a writer. Peace.

Sagacious says,

Hey Dhani, try looking at it this way, if a blocking feature gets implemented, then other memoirists can block you (or me, or whoever) instead of complaining. If the problem no longer exists, then there's nothing to complain about.

Dhani says,

Saqg: Yeah, blocking may relieve the stress for those who are frightened by freedom of speech from BOTH sides of the aisle...

Sagacious says,

I can see your point, but having others block you may save your skin on this site- if that's what you want.

Dhani says,

SAG: Like you, my brother, I just want to be FREE! I do NOT care if others block me, but I shall not block anyone. Simple.

Amapola says,

I thought Redhead asked Dhani to stop commenting on HER memoir. I reallly don't get it - if I ask a visitor to leave, I don't expect him/her to break in after I close my door... where's the respect for someone's will? Dhani, you have some serious issues about this. If you or anyone asked me NOT to comment on a memoir, I would stay away from it.

It's that simple... am I naive?

ba_miracle says,

Not naive Ama, you are logically polite.

Believe says,

It's all about respect, Amapola. You have have respect because you show respect. Same goes for many others on this site. Unfortunately not all on this site.

What a crappy welcome for a new member.

Dean6805 says,

Redhead, I've just read this memoir. Your honesty is quite moving; well done. As for some of the comments above, just remember that sometimes, Crazy has a name. May you find a lasting love who sees your heart and loves you for YOU.