Meant sincerely, any word would suffice.
Backstory
I'm sure everyone has had that one person that no matter how much they have hurt you, you can't get them out of your heart, let alone your head? I have that person. Once ever so often he comes into my life just to leave yet again. Happiness comes within seconds of a "Hello". And leaves just as easily with never a goodbye... by unknown116 in Six-Word Memoirs on Love & Heartbreak on Feb 16, 2013 | 
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Comments
Dragonflower says,
It is amazing how fast my heart leaps with happiness.They trick you by never saying goodbye.
unknown116 says,
He never says goodbye because he never wants to leave. But he leaves because it's too hard to love. Which makes it that much more painful.But it does seem to be easier for most people never to say goodbye. They usually either want the option to come back later, they can't face you because they know that if they try and say goodbye they'd realize it's a mistake, or they just don't want to deal with the tears or the psychotic break.
canadafreeze says,
Always expecting your door to be open is so unfair - but then so is love.unknown116 says,
I agree CF. We don't get to choose who we fall in love with, but we do get to decide what we do with that love...Dragonflower says,
Great description of why they don't say good-bye, unknown116. That is exactly right. And I agree with CF too. It is unfair to expect the door to always be open.My huge confusion has always been whether this is really love or not, but I've decided it is not. Not for me anymore.
The only way I could end it was to remove all methods of getting in touch with me. I'm not strong enough if he were to show up at my door again. Like you said, unknown116, the happiness is instaneous.If I were to see him, I'd melt into a big puddle. However, I never gave him my new address and I closed my email and changed phone #. I had to. For all the reasons you stated so well. The pain became too much to bear every time he would just leave whenever he got too close to me.
And, yes, I still want to contact him myself. I almost did the other day when I received some devastating news and felt he would be the only one who could comfort me. But, I'd deleted his number from my cell, AND, erased it from my handwritten address book. I knew myself too well, it seems. It sort of surprised me when I realized what I had done a few months back. So....I didn't contact him, and I'm fine. Probably better, since my heart only has to deal with the news and not the additional pain of seeing or talking with my friend again. I'm wondering if I wasn't just looking for an excuse to call him again anyway.
Being in love with someone so emotionally unavailable is the hardest thing in the world. I wish you the best, unknown116, and I know you will continue to take care of yourself because you seem really strong and wise. Thank you for the great memoir and the comments, They have helped me immensely--both of you!
unknown116 says,
Thank you for sharing DE! I try and be as strong as possible, even with him. On countless occasions he has unknowingly pushed me to better myself. If he's around, I feel as though I am supposed to learn something...even if it's just a friendly reminder that pure happiness exists. One day I may allow myself to move on, but not today. I'm glad you were strong enough to save your heart, but for me, I'm not sure if pushing him out of my life would do any good. It wouldn't exactly do harm, but it wouldn't do any good either.And I get it, those moments where your mind just connects to someone and you feel a need to call them or see them... I have one ex I cutt out of my life like you did. I fight that urge often. The fact stands true, true love never fades. But the "in" love can. You just have to know the difference between love and in love.
Dragonflower says,
Thanks, you are so right about the true love part. I have a special place in my heart for him even though I've also protected it from further damage.My longing to talk to him again comes, in part, because with old friends, you don't have to explain so much because they've known you or the person or situation you're talking about...sometimes I just feel either weary, or just lost, with new friends. But, I do believe when I find the right one, it will be fun and exciting getting to know one another. I'm trying to get ready for that time, so my heart will be open. On the other hand, I think that it just might happen, whether I'm "ready" or not! That's the intriguing part about love. You have nice way of looking at things, unknown116! Enjoy your week.
unknown116 says,
Thank you, you too DE! Just remember love always comes when you aren't looking!