Six Word Memoirs on Life Stories

LucidDreamer says,

When a person uses tears to manipulate someone....it a weak way to get what one wants. Other than that, I don't see tears as weak at all.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX says,

genuine tears aren't weak. they're evidence of feelings beyond the surface. Men who cry are often the strongest of heart as well as body.

LucidDreamer says,

I think you are spot on, Delta.

favepeep says,

Crying usually indicates that you are in touch with your emotions. And that's a good thing.

KharisJo says,

Couldn't agree more with the above esp. @Delta. Thank goodness for a change in cultural norms which used to specify that men don't cry, big girls don't cry.

MrsPremise says,

The weakness is in the one that can't face another's tears.
Hugged a stranger when she was crying. We are now good friends.

soularcher says,

I know that crying is good, and does not mean you are weak, but I can't let myself cry in public. I just can't. It's not like I fake happiness while having a knot in my throat- of course not. But knowing that all those people, the people who like me- and see me as strong- and the people who hate me- who would like to see me reduced to tears-, are watching... I have to hold it in.

Of course, I get home and cry a thousand tears. And I do not see people who cry as weak. I just can't see myself crying in, say, the classroom, or the hallway. Not even the school bathroom (I would feel pathetic- absolutely no offense to those who have done it. I just wouldn't be able to stand knowing that someone had the power to send me in tears to a toilet stall).

Just my thoughts on it. Sorry for the kind-of-long post.

LucidDreamer says,

soalarcher, I understand. You are not saying crying is weak - you just don't want the jackasses of the world to see that they got to you. They would see your tears as their victory, and you're not going to give them that. Totally understandable.

lillybrook says,

MrsPremise, I agree entirely. The person crying isn't weak; the person who can't extend empathy or -- like your ex, notyouraveragegrandma, who can't see that perhaps the tears aren't about them -- they are the ones who are weak. They are closed off to others and that is what is really sad.

MrsPremise says,

I heard a good program on NPR last month about tears. Without going into it, it is worth listening to.
That said, I've always cried easily. Maybe it's wiring, but I suspect it's "old stuff", just like disproportionate anger. I couldn't pay for a hug from my mother or my kids' father, and that just broke my heart. I really believe that there is a deeper root to uncontrollable crying. And I had no control--- BIG train wreck. All this eventually led to an anxiety disorder, so maybe I was extreme. I come unglued at seeing a child or animal hurt, but I had no tears when my mother died. Nuts, huh?
All in all, I would never put my trust in anyone who walked away from a person in tears.

soularcher says,

Mrs. Premise, you're right. It's impossible not to comfort a crying person, unless you hate them (yeah, I saw myself in the situation and concluded that I would only walk away from one person... she did a lot of damage). Well, talking about that person... I used to have a friend. A very good friend. We were nearly inseparable, and became even more so when everyone in our group started making her life miserable. Once, when she was in my house, one of them called and told her to change, become another person, because the 'she' she was sucked. She had a breakdown. She always told me everything, and I was always the comforter. I was the only one who defended her and didn't leave her.

Well, she then decided sticking with me was not worth it, and changed. It broke me. I cried almost every night for months. You should see the amount of swear words in my journal that summer!
Anyway, after that, I promised I would never let some one do that to me again. Break me, I mean. And no, I didn't let her see me cry. No one has since first grade, when I got an unfair detention and got all crybaby. Ha. Well, and on my best-friend's-mother's funeral. That was depressing.

Notyouraveragegrandma, I'm glad that you made this six. I think it's helped us all. And I'm glad you realized that he- whoever he was and whatever he did- is not worth it, just like I did.
Thanks everyone! And thanks LucidDreamer. I couldn't have said what I meant any better than you did. I'm glad someone understands. <3

MrsPremise says,

NYAG, you are too kind. :-) I'm not sure if I come across as a know-it-all sometimes, but I have learned a few things, usually the hardest way possible. I've thought from the start that you are so much more on the ball than I was at your age. You're doing GREAT! You deserve the best! No concessions.

Soularcher, it sounds like your caring was taken for granted. You were a good friend and she burned you. Maybe you even saw signs early on, I know I usually have. Now it's about keeping boundaries with some people we'd like to help. Everytime, they've told me everything I needed to know, and I ignored it.

Here's to getting stronger and smarter!!! I love my sixes friends!

Level1 says,

I think because when you cry, you are at your most open and vulnerable. You are literally bearing your soul. This is frightening to many people because it is raw. I think it can even be frightening to the crier. It is a loss of control and so much of "civilized" society is about control.

I welled up after posting my most recent memoir which surprised me. I knew that ending things was inevitable and the best course to take but I found that I was terribly sad about the missed opportunity.

Tears come from deep within and should not be made light of. They are the purest form of emotion (when real).

kevinok says,

My vulnerability is my strength.

destineemaree says,

I don't view other people as weak when they cry,but when I cry I just feel exposed and child-like.Level1 is correct, you're completely vulnerable.I feel naked and defenseless when I let any guard of mine go down.When I cry over someone it bothers me because I let that person have the opportunity to get to me.

MrsPremise says,

Nice response destinee. You really struck a chord there. I've felt that way many, many times. It's awful, to feel so pathetic.

destineemaree says,

notyouraveragegrandma ,that's good that you're able to let your guard down to people you trust.i respect you for being able to appreciate every emotion you have.some people may have even been raised a particular way ,learning that crying means that they are weak.
you seem like a very strong woman so don't let people make you think you are wrong for crying or showing emotion, don't apologize for feeling.

Skyebird says,

It used to bother me when I cried because I used to think I was being weak for crying. But I got lucky early on.

I met a dear friend during a life changing leadership camp somewhere in the mountains. We had an emotional group talk and I confessed that I hated to cry because it made me weak.

I love her for telling me this back then: "Crying doesn't make you weak. It means you have a big heart." Can you imagine? A fourteen year old telling someone that was a year older than her that? It healed my soul.

It's like what favepeep says. Crying means you're in touch with your emotions, and I'd like to think that it makes me more human and tune with what's going on in my life.

Thank you for bringing up this six word question notyouraveragegrandma. :) <3