Escape nightmare date in six words?
by Loon in Six Words Questions on Jul 11, 2011 | 
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SMITH Magazine brings you an entirely new kind of six-word experience: Six-Word Questions. This is the place to pose a question to the SMITH community from, "What are your favorite Six-Word quotations" to challenging members to pen Six-Word Obituaries to the recently departed to Six-Word jokes and any other Six-Word question you can dream up. You can even request that the responses be in six words. Everyone has a question—what's yours?
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Comments
Loon says,
Ankle tether chafes like a bitchLoon says,
air-conditioning really perked-up your nipplesmarymc says,
What should we name the children?skyrocketjones says,
Want to read my "Bridezilla" Magazine?oopsalittle says,
italian father has horse-head in wardrobeskyrocketjones says,
Voices in my head? (Tsk)Harmless. Really!JAD says,
The doctor said I'm a schizophrenic.skyrocketjones says,
Can I have your Ferrari when you die?skyrocketjones says,
Must see your bank statement first.skyrocketjones says,
Only arrested for one stalker violation...skyrocketjones says,
I only have 3 non-lethal STDsskyrocketjones says,
I'm sure I'm cured of AIDS...skyrocketjones says,
I'm sure I'm cured of AIDS...marymc says,
You HAVE to meet my mother!marymc says,
I used to be a boy.marymc says,
You like cats? I have 12.marymc says,
Is Jesus Christ your personal savior?marymc says,
I can't drink. I'm on parole.marymc says,
Insanity runs in my family? Yours?marymc says,
My last boyfriend was my cousin.marymc says,
My pet tarantula's my best friend.marymc says,
What? No SPAM on the menu?marymc says,
I'm a professional mime...and clown.marymc says,
Gotta show you my doll collection!Believe says,
I find children really sexy. You?Loon says,
do you recycle your poop corn?Loon says,
Sarah Palin gives me a boner.JAD says,
Drove last date to insane asylum.BanjoDan says,
my parole officer must join usContemplative says,
Please sign this 140 page prenup.Contemplative says,
More body hair than a gorilla.skyrocketjones says,
These are hysterical...maybe a book...skyrocketjones says,
Your moustache is better than mine!skyrocketjones says,
Gun totin' ex still stalks me.skyrocketjones says,
My current boyfriend is joining us.KharisJo says,
Must meet my dad, Hannibal Lecterskyrocketjones says,
No, PickPocket is my MIDDLE name.skyrocketjones says,
I'm a hoarder. Isn't it FUN?skyrocketjones says,
These teeth here are all false.skyrocketjones says,
My breath smell like roadkill still?skyrocketjones says,
My boogers aren't really that salty.KharisJo says,
Brought your wallet? Let's go shopping.KharisJo says,
I prefer my men in pink.skyrocketjones says,
Shower? Why? It's not Saturday yet?KharisJo says,
What's your life insurance payout sum?catsmeow says,
You do love accordion music, right?skyrocketjones says,
Your butt's the size of Brazil!skyrocketjones says,
So you got any vanilla chaw?skyrocketjones says,
Did you fart, or just me?catsmeow says,
These boobs are just a Wonderbra.KharisJo says,
Yes, six husbands. Cook you dinner?catsmeow says,
I'll require a sexual aptitude test.JAD says,
Need to rinse my dentures now!skyrocketjones says,
I really have nasty diahrrea tonite.skyrocketjones says,
So you got any vanilla chaw?Contemplative says,
Love? Sex? I believe in neither.skyrocketjones says,
Sorry. On my computer, the vanilla chaw comment repeated twice without being clicked twice. Guess my computer is stuttering!catsmeow says,
I always drool when I'm anxious.catsmeow says,
Sex only on February 29th... maybe.catsmeow says,
Holy crap, Loon, you hit the jackpot on this one. What fun! Thx.skyrocketjones says,
Thanks Loon, we're all twisted looks like! I'm falling over laughing at all the responses from other 6ers.skyrocketjones says,
All my other husbands suddenly died....skyrocketjones says,
My armpit hair isn't THAT moldy!skyrocketjones says,
You like my leg hair braids-n-beads?KharisJo says,
Must meet my brother, Norman Bates.KharisJo says,
My hobbies? Proctology and colonic irrigation.KharisJo says,
Must meet my other brother, Loon.Loon says,
My identical twin's name is Wackjob.catsmeow says,
I'm fond of men with hemorrhoids.skyrocketjones says,
Sprouted a new tongue wart yesterday!skyrocketjones says,
Hurry, that cop knows I'm 14!skyrocketjones says,
You have the same pink dress!KharisJo says,
My six sisters love being bridesmaids.KharisJo says,
good one Loon! Thank you :)skyrocketjones says,
I mug you OR-Oops's horsehead!skyrocketjones says,
It's a long nailfile! That's it!catsmeow says,
I'll need to interview your ex.oopsalittle says,
meet my brothers - sicilians with guns.BanjoDan says,
please sign this life insurance policyJAD says,
I can really do without sex.BanjoDan says,
my freezer's full of body partscatsmeow says,
Banjo Dan will serenade us now.BanjoDan says,
join banjodan and cats for a threesome?wackjob says,
I masturbated to your passport photo.catsmeow says,
My lobotomy is scheduled for Friday.catsmeow says,
The scary thing about all these sixes is the possibility that you'd find someone who was turned on by them rather than repelled. Now the threesome with banjodan I could understand...catsmeow says,
Drop your pants. Wackjob will evaluate.catsmeow says,
I've got a ruler. Let's measure.wackjob says,
My toupe doubles as a coasterwackjob says,
My toupe doubles as a coasterskyrocketjones says,
Cats - I've wondered that too, concerning responses, (chuckle). On whom can we test these out?wackjob says,
Yer gonna need a longer rulerwackjob says,
my most favorite aphrodesiac is diarrheaskyrocketjones says,
Hahahahahaha! Love these! Wackjob, you are doubly efficient, double pun intended! :)skyrocketjones says,
I keep cockroaches in there, too!skyrocketjones says,
BanjoDan, let's hope the electricity doesn't go out at your house! (Wheeze!)skyrocketjones says,
Which are you: customer, blind date?catsmeow says,
Clearly we shouldn't be testing these out on wackjob, SRJ. And wack, just for you I'd go find my yardstick.skyrocketjones says,
Cats, LOLskyrocketjones says,
Have 2 hubby's now. Crazy, huh!skyrocketjones says,
Step over that dead thing there.skyrocketjones says,
Sure! I'm a klepto, but who isn't??catsmeow says,
My house? Landmines are probably defunct.catsmeow says,
Waiter, any roadkill on the menu?marymc says,
Would you mind paying me up-front?marymc says,
I SWEAR it's just a cold-sore!marymc says,
You really are my first... tonight.marymc says,
You're as hot as my brother!catsmeow says,
I plan to die a virgin.wackjob says,
if kin don't count, I'm virginwackjob says,
'scuse. Gotta wring out my Depends.catsmeow says,
I change my Poise pads weekly.skyrocketjones says,
Oooh, more good ones Marymc, Wack and Cats. Is anyone else laughing at these? Wicked fun.skyrocketjones says,
Move! Must swat those fairies repeatedly!oopsalittle says,
meet my twelve children - twelve fathers.oopsalittle says,
yes sky I'm laughing -really lifting my spirits - thanks guys!!
lisamoans says,
I chill drinks between my legsskyrocketjones says,
Ohhhhh! Lisa. That's just "cold"...(hearty laugh outta that one and Oops's.oopsalittle says,
Looking for someone for suicide pact.lisamoans says,
I'm Australian. Wanna go down under?scarecrow says,
will you wear my mom's wig?JAD says,
This is a wig, I'm bald.oopsalittle says,
I ride a broom to work.oopsalittle says,
Let me introduce my dad - wackjob.lisamoans says,
a shot away from being transgenderedlisamoans says,
my Electra aint all that complexLoon says,
i brought formaldehyde, just in casesisterpoet says,
It's only contagious when it's oozingsisterpoet says,
I am ready to settle downsisterpoet says,
My ex is right behind youContemplative says,
Dad's inquisitor, doorway, unarmed, I think...Level1 says,
My place is infested with bed bugs.Level1 says,
Want to borrow my lice comb?mzejay says,
I just got out of jail.Someone actually said this to me. It worked, never saw him again.
skyrocketjones says,
Featured, of course. Congrats Loon!Foolishwriter says,
Don't wake dad, he has shotgun!Laconic says,
Wife just called, got to go.three-monkeys says,
Do you wanna meet my gimp?ZombieBears3298 says,
How do you feel about stalkers?L2L3 says,
Only 4 days left on Penicillin.L2L3 says,
Still trying to regulate my Lithium.L2L3 says,
It helps to wear cotton underwear.L2L3 says,
Wrist sutures got infected. Wanna see?L2L3 says,
Fish smell almost gone, you think?L2L3 says,
Long time since last wound packing.three-monkeys says,
Here's a picture of my cat.three-monkeys says,
Excuse me, too many burritos yesterday!BGourley says,
When can my family move in?three-monkeys says,
I left my wallet at home!three-monkeys says,
My ex's last name is Gotti.RainhaMom says,
Robert? Roberta? Whichever one you prefer.oopsalittle says,
Only ever eat Beluga Almas caviar.MacKenzieX says,
I think I might be pregnant.NoNickname1 says,
Crawl out the ladies room window.True story!
Hen3ry says,
I think I have food poisoning.JAD says,
I change when the moon's full.oopsalittle says,
I only have sex on planesoopsalittle says,
maybe that should read 'I only have sex in planes'Steve__Anthony says,
Started asking a lot of questions about her cuter sister.XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX says,
"Does obesity run in your family?Loon says,
Excuse me, I need to pick up my Flagyl prescription before the pharmacy closes.MrsPremise says,
My mother lives in my basement.MrsPremise says,
I just love collecting dead bugs!MrsPremise says,
That? It's my last specimen jar.MrsPremise says,
Oh sure! We all sleep together!MrsPremise says,
Debt? Who said anything about debt?MrsPremise says,
... and the fifth is named Billy-Bob!MrsPremise says,
I was a grandmother at 34.