Six Word Memoirs on Life Stories

ShellDeFelice says,

That is a frightening thought.

Dragonflower says,

Maybe. I think we sometimes forget how to be nice to one another. People tell me how nice I am, like its a big deal, when really all I've done is common courtesy and thoughtfulness. To tell the truth about your question, is I am not sure what love really feels like (except, of course, from my daughter).

I have been trying to love myself and treat myself nice as I treat others. Hopefully, this will teach me about love. Good question, thought provoking. :)

dakat123 says,

ShellDeFelice, I agree. Very scary.

DragonEmpress, I am struggling in a romantic relationship right now. I see a trend forming and I don't like it in myself. The fella I'm with does one thing that I don't like and I start picking him apart. I swing from affectionate and attentive to distant and callous. I withdraw quick, fast and in a hurry. It happened in my last relationship, and I see it happening again. Is it a lack of love? Or just a bad habit? I was alone for the best part of the last 10 years. Maybe I'm too proud. Too stubborn. Too .... Something. Maybe I'm unmatchable.

I need to understand it.

dakat123 says,

In general, I wonder about this, too, in society. With the cold-hearted, unfathomable acts of violence, do people forget how to love "people", humanity. To appreciate the miracle that is life, the distinctness of individuals, the beauty of innocence. My greatest fear is loss of compassion and empathy.

Dragonflower says,

dakat123, I understand completely. I don't even let anyone get close enough to push away! That sounds awful, doesn't it? My daughter will tell me someone was flirting with me and I wasn't paying the least bit if attention.

I know for myself, it is absolutely because I've been alone so long. And I've been badly hurt. Sometimes I fully believe I'd rather just stay alone the rest of my life, but do I? That might be a lot of years. Lonely years.

I see a counselor to work on this, but I honestly don't know what questions to ask, so we just sit and look at each other. Just kidding, we work on other stuff, and hopefully the love thing will work itself out.

If I could offer a bit longer realization on my part--in my past failed relationships, I didn't assert myself about the things that bothered me in the beginning, when they were minor and maybe fixable. So now I see every "flaw" and want to notice it, talk about it, assert myself all over the place, right away. You can imagine this doesn't make for a very loving time! These "flaws might be endearing, if I gave them time.

Also, I feel a bit of a time crunch. I no longer have 16 years to spend on something that doesn't, or isn't going to, make me happy, so I want to "bottom line" it fast! ie, this is what I want, can you be this way? No? OK, thanks for stopping by, Next! --This isn't realistic either! I'm a handful, I know.

I wish you the best, dakat123, you will figure it out! Trust your realistic instincts, and laugh at the crazy ones!

marymc says,

I don't think they forget HOW, they just forget TO...

MO_Thoughts2 says,

DAK-- This could be either your gut telling you something is not quite right or it's a protective mechanism. If it's a protective mechanism, you are finding fault in a small habit so you don't get in any deeper than you are. You let them in so far ... then the wall is built. I've been told in the the past that my heart can be Fort Knox surrounded by the Great Wall of China. You think that if you push them away, it will hurt less than if they push you away.

What is this habit that annoys you?

As someone who has been alone for the better part of 12 years until recently, I get it. I like knowing the rules of the game before I get into a relationship. Probably why for the majority of those 12 years I chose to be with men who I knew were unavailable .. either married or emotional basket cases. There were no mysteries .. you don't meet my kids, I'm not hidden ....you take me out, etc.

MO_Thoughts2 says,

DAK-- This could be either your gut telling you something is not quite right or it's a protective mechanism. If it's a protective mechanism, you are finding fault in a small habit so you don't get in any deeper than you are. You let them in so far ... then the wall is built. I've been told in the the past that my heart can be Fort Knox surrounded by the Great Wall of China. You think that if you push them away, it will hurt less than if they push you away.

What is this habit that annoys you?

As someone who has been alone for the better part of 12 years until recently, I get it. I like knowing the rules of the game before I get into a relationship. Probably why for the majority of those 12 years I chose to be with men who I knew were unavailable .. either married or emotional basket cases. There were no mysteries .. you don't meet my kids, I'm not hidden ....you take me out, etc.

accidentaltourist says,

Maybe. But sometimes I think we forget how to let ourselves be loved.