Six Word Memoirs on Life Stories

maryjane31 says,

Tell him he has to be out by a certain time. I had a problem with family members when we moved to Florida. They thought I ran a hotel and restaurant. The first year I but up with it. Hubby got mad and said "no more." Couldn't have agreed with him more. Once you let them in it is very hard to get them out. I would NEVER impose myself on others so can't understand these freeloaders! Stay updated on this, interesting.......

MO_Thoughts2 says,

Set rules and boundaries. I agree with MJ31 -- a firm time out date and stick to it.

Dragonflower says,

Set some kind of rule about visitors. Sometimes opening ones home to one person, suddenly becomes a hang out for their friends. They can meet with their friends elsewhere. At first you might feel friendly about having new people over, but it gets old very quick and hard to undo.

My experience, but I'm a private person. This might not bother you as much.

Seraphina_Lullaby says,

Hieronimo, please explain.

Good suggestions so far! I'm open to hearing all your ideas--this is new terrain for us.

Wench says,

Seraphina, we're living with my parents right now. Nathaniel lost his job and we had to move out of our apartment while he recertified as an EMT. We're waiting now to hear back about a job and he's done pretty much nothing else with his time but to apply for other possible employment. So we're definitely not enjoying a cozy free ride just for the sake of it.

My mom and I have had an... interesting time living together. I've had a few controversies with her that have left me baffled that a human being actually works the way she does.

Believe says,

I've had people that, for one reason or another, have lived with me and my family. I have no complaints. Sometimes I even miss having an extra person or two around the house. Best wishes. And maybe even enjoy it!

accidentaltourist says,

I am thinking along Believe's line. Why is he there? Was it necessity? Did you feel pressured to say yes to him when you wanted to say no? Hopefully it will work out well for all concerned.

Seraphina_Lullaby says,

Thanks for the input. The biggest thing on my mind right now is what Autumn talked about. Today he mentioned something about bringing girls home. I balked and said we would talk about when the time came. But my gut reaction is to not allow friends over. As I write this, it seems harsh. Thoughts

Seraphina_Lullaby says,

Believe, my partner and I already have a renter, one of my old boyfriends from my younger years. I like having a full house and the whole commune feel, but I don't like having to support my brother-in-law. I know this isn't permanent, but it feels more like having an overgrown son that won't fly the coop as opposed to helping out friend.

maryjane31 says,

Go with your gut Seraphina because you are right on!

Dragonflower says,

I understand completely about it feels harsh to even consider not allowing friends of your brotherinlaw over. I almost didn't write my comment because I thought the same thing. And I'm so private, I thought others would be more open to a houseful of people. When I worked at a university once, I had lots of graduate student friends and they usually lived in rented houses and had lots of roommates, who had lots of people over. I was often one of those extra people in the house and it was fun and no one minded.

When I was older and had a friend stay while she was recovering from an illness, I liked that too. Until she got well, didn't move out, and had her boyfriend over almost every night, and then HIS friend and girlfriend, and then HER friend and boyfriend. It was too much and it just seemed to snowball so fast. My neighbors didn't like all the cars and the coming and going. Since I didn't have anyone coming over myself (my boyfriend didn't want to come over with all those people there), I soon felt outnumbered.

The perplexing thing for me was how it all happened so fast and that my friend was a mature woman and I expected more consideration, so I had set no rules or even talked about anything in the beginning. Then it seemed like it would be ok, with the friends, but it went downhill fast. It all ended very badly.

I just wish I'd said something in the beginning, but felt it was too harsh and unnecessary. I wasn't a good boundry setter person in those days. I still am not that great at it. You are probably much better, Seraphina_ Lullaby. Like maryjane31 says, your gut will tell you what's best in your particular situation.

ba_miracle says,

I agree with the setting boundaries upfront and add: put them in writing. Ask him if he has any preferences.
Perhaps a trial period and a discussion regarding future rent.
Is he going to be a guest or a tenant?

It really does depend on your personalities, lifestyles ect.

You may find he is the perfect addition or that he needs to make other arrangements quickly.

I enjoy my privacy and wouldn't appreciate an unexpected guest...never-mind the unexpected guest of a guest.

Seraphina_Lullaby says,

Thanks, MJ. I'm just tyring not to be an ogre at this point.

Autumn, what a nightmare you endured! Another one for the annals of "No good deed goes unpunished." Sounds like you lost a friend..This is a good reminder to be clear about expectations and limits.

Miracle, he is a guest. We are all going to sit down this weekend to set our individual goals for 2013--hopefully a perfect entre into house rules.

Sigh...Second time this week that he has woken me up at 3am because of his wacked sleep pattern. My partner is a gem, and he's a nice guy, but all I can think about is checking into a hotel for the weekend with my two hounds.