Six Word Memoirs on Life Stories

canadafreeze says,

Good question ...

DukeRaider says,

Because the choice to be happy means the recognition of thinking we deserve it. And some don't think they deserve to be happy.

notjustagirlintheworld says,

also, takes practice...

Dragonflower says,

I never seem to make people laugh when I talk about happiness. They just look wistful. But, talk about some dire thing and I have them rolling on the floor! I think DukeRaider is on to something. Sometimes I feel embarassed to say I'm happy. Remember that old song, "If You're Happy and you know it....clap your hands"? I have always had a hard time clapping my hands; even as a child. I've always thought it had something to do with being raised by parents who lived through the Depression.

accidentaltourist says,

Recognizing it seems to be my dilemma.

treehugger says,

I think DukeRaider is onto something. I think we are inclined to believe that making choices that make us happy is somehow selfish.

Steve__Anthony says,

Guilt.

sisterpoet says,

choosing hapiness means acceptance of things as they are. So it is a matter of being able to accept and roll with some of the following:
Things may not be what you expected
Things may require more than your thought you were willing to give.

I guess it is a matter of perspective. Can you look around your life and just be HAPPY and present and rest in the positive OR do you decide that what in front of you is nothing to be happy about...sort of like saying " I will be happy when and if....."

Dhani says,

That is a thought-provoking question. One could also ask: 'Why is forgiving someone (for whatever reason) such a difficult choice?'

With regards to happiness:I think people who find happiness hard to choose peradventure don't really believe it actually exists, or else they're afraid of it. People are afraid of love too. ('I'll get hurt again!')

Happiness & sadness are choices. What would you WISELY choose now as you read this?

ba_miracle says,

Maybe happiness is overrated and the guilt for not feeling enough happiness is a natural side effect of attempting something so extreme.

I look forward to the days when I don't have to work so hard to feel at peace;-)

I welcome days when happiness is effortless.
Choice and practice are good terms...dilution of unhappy circumstances/experiences is helpful.

It's odd to see the word guilt and the idea that you have to be "deserving" to be happy.

I consider it my responsibility to figure out how to make the better choices in my life. Am I living up to that? Meh and sometimes ;-)

Being in pain can test a persons resolve for happiness.

Brain chemistry and patterns of thought can also play large roles in making the choice less accessible and may require professional help...ironically the more help someone requires regarding that, the less likely they are to seek it.

I had a period of years in my life when happiness wasn't a choice...I was just happy. Challenges and losses occurred but my satisfaction with life and my accomplishments at that point outweighed sadness. I considered my past "the past" and "reconciled".
My world view had not changed but my ideas regarding my ability to be a positive contributor had improved.

Being happy isn't always the simple choice, sometimes you have to accept that it will be a multitude of choices that point you back in the direction and then give yourself the time to get there.

Dhani says,

MIRACLE: It never takes TIME to be happy! (Or 'sad', for that matter.)

ba_miracle says,

Dhani, that may sometimes be true but overall I disagree.
There are moments in life when happiness isn't going to happen...no matter how you try to force it.
Tell a person who's recently gone through a trauma or loss to "be happy" and see how well that goes over.
There may be a small segment of the population that can move easily back into a "happy state" and maybe a larger segment who will pretend to be, just for the sake of not hearing how happy they should be or how over something they "should be".

Sometimes sadness or a middle ground is also an appropriate way to feel and forcing the happy is just another means to telling people how they should feel.
By the way, I know people who are just fine being miserable...it's their comfort zone and no choice is made it just comes naturally.

Dhani says,

Oh, yeah, I agree -it's much, much easier to be miserable. There are so many reasons that pop up in a 'normal' day that might justify one's miserableness. And if cancer befalls you, as it did me a few years back, the last thing you want to be is MISERABLE, because that state of mind is like quicksand & will help you fall into an even deeper state of despair.

I'm thinking of a little-known quote by Christ: 'Be glad today, be GLAD!'
That's what I kept repeating when I was undergoing radiation & chemo. (Today I'm happily cancer-free!)

jl333 says,

I'm happy most of the time. I have my moments of sadness just like everybody else. But I choose to be happy!!

Redhead2001 says,

You can choose an attitude of joy, but happiness is fleeting and is a byproduct of giving of yourself to something bigger than yourself. It's too much to expect to be and feel happy at all times, but happiness is possible.

lillybrook says,

Biologically we are programmed to hold on to pain -- it teaches us what not to repeat.

I also agree @Autumn22 that people connect with us more through pain, somehow. I tell someone I'm really happy, and they smile and say "That's great" (discussion effectively killed). But if I say, "I am totally overwhelmed and the kids and sick and my ex is being a jerk" and they want to hear all about it and offer to help. Which is great; I love support. BUT... wouldn't it be a better world if, when we said, "I'm happy!" the natural response was, "Let's celebrate -- I want to share your happiness!"

Maybe, too, happiness is harder to explain. Why am I happy? There's not always a reason. If I am angry or sad... there's a cause I can pinpoint.

TheAngstyPoet says,

I think worthiness is a key player. Sometimes we sell ourselves short and think we can't do better.

KharisJo says,

I agree with Red that happiness is almost a by-product of something else. If you pursue it for it's own sake, you're likely to come up short, but happiness can be found just by enjoying something simple in the midst of a lot of other negatives. It's like a butterfly that you can enjoy watching or landing lightly upon yourself, but try to grasp it and it's gone. Sometimes happiness is just found in doing a job well or making someone else's day.