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I have 3 kids with one on the way.With baby #1 things were pretty typical as new moms go.A lot of dotting etc.Baby #2 a bit more relaxed.Baby #3 and I began to think what happened to that calm, responsible mom that used to live in this house? 2 babies: baths at least 4 times a week. Baby #3 and I think I lost my mind.Sometimes I find myself saying … Read more »
During my wife's first pregnancy, I was selfish in the worst way. She wanted me to quit drinking; I refused and would stay up late, alone. We picked out strollers, cribs, paint, furniture and diaperbags; all of this gave me a headache. Exhausted and irritable, she now snored loudly; I spent many nights sleeping on the couch. I secretly feared becoming the American cliche. She clenched my hand through twelve … Read more »
Most women gain weight during a pregnancy. I never really knew that some lose it. I was one of those. The day after two little lines appeared, I started throwing up everything I had ever eaten. I had never heard of HG (hyperemesis gravidarum) before. It ruled my life for 6 of the 9 months. I was lucky though, I had plenty of extra chub I could do without! It … Read more »
Pregnancy dreams are vivid, emotional, occasionally bizarre. My most intense dream involved having a boy whom I named Christopher. I dreamed of the frustrations of trying to swaddle him and put him to my breast. Frustrating, because Christopher was born a push-pin. He was a regular-sized green push-pin. I loved him dearly, but panicked, because if I set Christopher down next to a "regular" push-pin how would I know which … Read more »
He was a madman. We met through an Internet personal ad. Redundant? On paper he looked good, having achieved all the succes$ possible in life. What was lacking and craved: a child. He desired a wife, too, but I sensed her role would be essentially that of womb-as-delivery-mechanism. He was amassing, in true cart-before-horse-style, infant-related items, and had found an old-fashioned English perambulator, … Read more »
Dick was asked to fix his famous ribs in a city wide cook-off. Our daughter, in her 8th month refused to miss out. She tried each entry, then settled in to chow down on Daddy's best. She ate, and ate, and finally sated, went home.
Soon we got a call from the hospital. Jenni was in labor, and required a c-section.
Dick and I … Read more »
I am a DC attorney. I am pregnant and in Iowa (not a dream, my ex-husband is managing an Iowa Caucus campaign). I am the only woman alone at a breast-feeding class filled with wholesome Midwestern couples. One couple sports matching overalls. I wear a strapless dress and stilettos, preparing to attend a political event after class. The denim couple talks incessantly -- I can't … Read more »
One Sunday nearing the end of "Occupation by Friendly Forces" I was encouraged to enjoy a leisurely soak in our deep clawfoot tub. With serenely scented candles , pleasure inducing music, I surrendered to caressing warm water. To enjoy last moments I reclined on my back , "Pleasure's Prisoner", and flipped out the stopper with my toes . Water drained , no … Read more »
Wife is about 8 1/2 months pregnant and her feet are swollen and hurting her. She goes to nail salon where Korean women who work there refuse to massage her feet in fear it may induce labor. She comes home and begs me to massage her feet, she leaves out the part that she was just told it could induce labor. I give her feet a vigorous massage. At … Read more »
One day, Bertie Young and her husband Chuck, raced to get across the bridge and to the hospital. Her water broke and their fourth child was ready to be born. The Youngs didn't make it. She delivered at the top of the bridge when it was scheduled to open. The man in the bridge house was in a dither, he had never seen a baby being born and definitely not … Read more »
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