It takes an interesting type of young woman to spend her free time beating people up while wearing roller skates. I discovered this recently when I met up with the girls of Gotham Girls Roller Derby, New York City’s only all female roller derby league, to collect six-word memoirs on the derby life. While these athletes come from all walks of life and all seem to have stumbled into the bizarre subculture that is the world of roller derby, they are united by their intense, almost unhealthy obsession with the sport. The results were amazing and I had a tough time cutting the list down to be short enough to post here. 

I like to hit other girls.-Dainty Inferno (Bronx Gridlock)

Behind the scenes, roller girls stink. -Bluebonnet Plague (Queens of Pain)

Aim for Champagne, Settle for Beer. -Margaret Thrasher (Announcer)

Skate fast, hit, block, hit, repeat. -Dainty Inferno (Bronx Gridlock)

Eat, sleep, work, derby, derby, derby. -Surly Temple (Manhattan Mayhem)

Soft heart, tough soul, killer ass. -Surly Temple (Manhattan Mayhem)

No. My husband doesn’t beat me. -Ginger Snap (Bronx Gridlock)

The little ones rule the sport. -Care Bear Scare (Bronx Gridlock)

Had career track. Have roller derby. -Hard Anya (Brooklyn Bombshells)

Stupid life gets in derby’s way. -Sweet Sherry Pie (Manhattan Mayhem)

Roller Derby saved my soul. Really. -nameLes (Brooklyn Bombshells)

I’ve got ladyballs and a whistle. -Lady Refstrike (Referee)

Wait, elbow pads can be washed? -Em Dash (Manhattan Mayhem)

Roller skates: easier than hooker pumps. -Regina DenTata (Manhattan Mayhem)

What? I can’t skate all day? -Lemony Kickit (Bronx Manager)

All day I dream about skating. -MegaHurtz (Brooklyn Bombshells)

If only derby paid the bills. -MegaHurtz (Brooklyn Bombshells)

I yell often. They listen occasionally. -Abraham Drinkin (All-Star Manager)

Derby girls don’t have pretty feet. -MegaHurtz (Brooklyn Bombshells)

I’m a Gotham Girl: Life’s complete. -Care Bear Scare (Bronx Gridlock)

And finally, Raggedy Animal of the Brooklyn Bombshells gets bonus points for crafting a six-word memoir/haiku about derby…

Contemplating sleep

Accumulative fatigue 

Celebrating skate

Tags: gotham girls roller derby, roller derby, six-word memoirs