It got intense in the comment section of our six words on “Why You Didn’t Call Back” contest, held to celebrate the release of Rachel Greenwald’s new book, Why He Didn’t Call You Back: 1,000 Guys Reveal What They Really Thought About You After Your Date. In nearly 200 entries, six words a pop, you covered the emotional waterfront as to why, oh why, you didn’t call your date back.

And the grand-prize winner of a dating coach session from Greenwald (a $1,500 value, yo!) is Sue B. for: “His skin flaked like grated cheese.”

“I love the analogy, and how she submitted several entries that seemed earnest,” says Greenwald. Sue B.’s multiple six-word reasons run the gamut from poetic (”He just didn’t give me butterflies”), harsh (”I’d rather talk to my cat”), and peculiar (”Couldn’t untie his mother’s apron strings”).

Five runners-up win a copy of Why He Didn’t Call You Back. These smooth six-word operators include:

Kimberly W.: “That booty call only rang once.”

Peter T.: “Drama, drama, drama, I like comedy.”

Malcolm: “Incest makes it sound so dirty.”

Voodoo Lady: “Not particularly impressed by Nazi memorabilia.”

Miss Kibble: “You smell like my mother.” What?

Thanks to everyone who submitted—you went for it on this one.