What's Your Next-Door Neighbor Story?

Flashing Joe

In my 20's my best friend, Dana and I lived above an Irish bar in Chicago. We always kept our front door locked because a few of the old Irish men tended to wander up to our place by the afternoon. One Saturday morning our neighbor Joe called to say he was gonna stop by so I ran downstairs to unlock the door for him. Dana and I, still in our jammies, proceeded to sit on the couch, smoke some pot, and watch the Lifetime movie, Mother May I Sleep With Danger? One of our faves. Suddenly we heard the doorbell. Dana screamed at the top of her lungs "It's open you moron!" We laughed because Joe was a total moron. In a moment of quick decision I said we should flash Joe when he comes in! Dana agreed. I got off the couch, stood and faced the door. I pulled up my t-shirt over my head while Dana being too stoned to get up, pulled her shirt down exposing one breast. She was feeling lazy and Joe didn't deserve all four of our boobs. Two seconds later an, older African American UPS man walked in and was so shocked he dropped the package onto the floor and started laughing. Dana screamed and I ran and hid behind the tv. The UPS man blurted out, "At least lemme see your face!" and then he was kind enough to leave. Dana and I were still laughing a few minutes later when Joe actually walked into our place. He immediately asked what we did to the UPS guy. We asked why and Joe said he saw him walking out and he had a huge smile on his face. To this day Dana and I always imitate the UPS guy at home that night writing a letter, Dear Penthouse Forum...


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Have a Next-Door Neighbor Story?

As part of our new webcomic, Next-Door Neighbor, we thought it appropriate to have a little contest. Tell us your best true next-door neighbor story, and the winning tale will be matched with an artist and transformed into a webcomic and included as the final installment of Next-Door Neighbor.

About Next-Door Neighbor

No matter how close or how far, we all live next to someone, and we all have a Next-Door Neighbor story. With that in mind, editor Dean Haspiel asked some of his favorite storytellers and cartoonists to create their favorite NDN stories so we could share them with you.

The Fine Print & Contest Rules

By submitting an entry, you are granting SMITH the right to reprint or republish that entry online or in print, as well as make any necessary edits. See SMITH's terms of service for complete details.

This contest ends September 1, 2008. Prizes are not redeemable for cash and must be accepted as awarded. Winners are decided at the discretion of SMITH judges and all decisions are final. SMITH reserves the right to change the contest rules. Enter as often as you want. SMITH reserves the right to reprint or republish all entries.

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