What's Your Next-Door Neighbor Story?

Your sex is becoming my sex

I lived in a Philadelphia apartment building that was built in the 1920s. It was charming--there was a fireplace, hardwood floors and my bedroom windows opened out into a lovely peaceful courtyard filled with big trees, old rhododendrons and huge holly shrubs. I loved my apartment...during the day.

At night, I dreaded going to bed. However, each night, hope for change sprung eternal. A single woman in my late 20s, I would get under the covers, turn out my light, then listen to the sounds of the city with the hopes of quickly falling asleep. Then, a few minutes after I turned off the lights, just before 11 p.m., it would begin. First the foreplay--a quiet murmuring that I couldn't hear, but began to imagine when the walking ceased in the bedroom above me. Then the subtle rhythmic noises above. Then, the full-on slamming of the bed into the wall, again, again and again. This happened every night for several weeks. I decided to take matters into my own hands. I picked the most peaceful lavender paper I could find and wrote a note: "Hi--I just wanted to let you know that I can hear you having sex each night at 11 p.m. Maybe you can move your bed away from the wall." Staisfied with my direct approach, I tucked the note under their doorknob.
The next morning I went out to get the paper by my door. Attached to my doorknob was a note. An apology note from my chagrined neighbors, most definitely. "We thought you could use these. Signed, your upstairs neighbors." A pair of earplugs was attached to their curt reply.
Infuriated at their lack of civility, I ended up using them.
And it worked.

Comments

squiggles says,

I don't think the title fits...

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Have a Next-Door Neighbor Story?

As part of our new webcomic, Next-Door Neighbor, we thought it appropriate to have a little contest. Tell us your best true next-door neighbor story, and the winning tale will be matched with an artist and transformed into a webcomic and included as the final installment of Next-Door Neighbor.

About Next-Door Neighbor


No matter how close or how far, we all live next to someone, and we all have a Next-Door Neighbor story. With that in mind, editor Dean Haspiel asked some of his favorite storytellers and cartoonists to create their favorite NDN stories so we could share them with you.

The Fine Print & Contest Rules

By submitting an entry, you are granting SMITH the right to reprint or republish that entry online or in print, as well as make any necessary edits. See SMITH's terms of service for complete details.

This contest ends September 1, 2008. Prizes are not redeemable for cash and must be accepted as awarded. Winners are decided at the discretion of SMITH judges and all decisions are final. SMITH reserves the right to change the contest rules. Enter as often as you want. SMITH reserves the right to reprint or republish all entries.

 
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