What's Your Next-Door Neighbor Story?

Hi, I'm Mark, the Creepy Neighbor

“Hi, I’m Mark, the weird, creepy neighbor, “ is how Mark introduced himself, as he pushed his way passed me into my housewarming party. He had his dog with him, a ninety-five pound Golden Doodle. He forced his way to the back porch where the kegs were, and I thought, oh well, the more the merrier. Except Mark wasn’t very merry. He managed to creep out half of the party when he said he wanted to poison the beagles next door because their howling upset his Golden Doodle. When I finally asked him to leave, he informed me that he didn’t want to burn bridges and that he would have to tell the whole neighborhood about me. Listen dude, your drunk. Go home. What the hell did that mean, I wondered. Later Mark burst back through the door. He had dropped off his dog, and picked up his Proto-pipe and his resin ball. His wife and four kids were out of town so it was time to let down his creepy hair. My friend Julie finally asked him to leave and when he stood there with one last plea and asked me if he could stay, I looked to Julie for support. “No,” she said.

This was in contrast to Filinda, the magical gift bearing fairy who’d crashed my sister’s party the night before. His name was Filinda because his mother was Filipino and his dad was Indian. He was supposed to go to the party next door, but he was early, so he came to her place. The garage door was open and we were brewing beer, so “we looked like more fun.” The guy was great. He was a self-employed owner of a marketing firm, and he brought us animal crackers and coffee candy. He even offered up the Sherry he had brought because “it will go great with that apple crumb cake” that my sister was baking for my party.

So my sister gets Filinda, bearer of Sherry and animal crackers, and I get Mark, the self-proclaimed creepy neighbor with his Golden Doodle and resin ball. C’est la vie.


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Have a Next-Door Neighbor Story?

As part of our new webcomic, Next-Door Neighbor, we thought it appropriate to have a little contest. Tell us your best true next-door neighbor story, and the winning tale will be matched with an artist and transformed into a webcomic and included as the final installment of Next-Door Neighbor.

About Next-Door Neighbor

No matter how close or how far, we all live next to someone, and we all have a Next-Door Neighbor story. With that in mind, editor Dean Haspiel asked some of his favorite storytellers and cartoonists to create their favorite NDN stories so we could share them with you.

The Fine Print & Contest Rules

By submitting an entry, you are granting SMITH the right to reprint or republish that entry online or in print, as well as make any necessary edits. See SMITH's terms of service for complete details.

This contest ends September 1, 2008. Prizes are not redeemable for cash and must be accepted as awarded. Winners are decided at the discretion of SMITH judges and all decisions are final. SMITH reserves the right to change the contest rules. Enter as often as you want. SMITH reserves the right to reprint or republish all entries.

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