I am not alone

Every day he looks out of the curtains at me. I drive in or out and there are his peering eyes, watching me. Late at night, I put the garbage out and there he is again. I go and sit in the back yard and he goes and sits in his. He is always, always watching.

At first I thought I was paranoid. He just happens to be there when I come in.

But then, as days go by – he is still there.

I can always count on his searching, questioning eyes through the curtains.

Why is he watching me?

Do I have toilet paper attached to my shoe, did I make lots of noise, did my dog pee in his flowers...why is he watching me!?!

For a year I watch him, watch me.

I ask my family, they say I am blowing it out of proportion. He is just an old man with nothing better to do with his time. They say there is no way he is always watching me. I persist. They shut me down.

I slam the front door behind me, and storm out. Get in my car to drive away, why does no one believe me. It’s true! He is always there, his eyes following me across the drive way – yet no one believes me. And just as I pull out of the driveway I look up and...there he is again! I scream, “See!” yet no one is there to see, and no one would believe me either.

I just want to go up and tell him that I’ve done nothing wrong. I’m a good girl. I don’t break curfew, I don’t lie, I help around the house...I AM A GOOD GIRL! I want to storm up his steps and bang on his door and ask why he watches only me. Yet I don’t.

I feel like he knows me...he looks into my soul.
I go away to university. Yet everywhere I walk I feel eyes watching me – knowing me. University seems scary, have no friends, yet I am not alone.

It’s the most annoying thing. I never feel alone. Maybe that’s a good thing. I went home for the summer,