What's Your Next-Door Neighbor Story?

Neighbor from Hell

Wow...I never thought that there'd be a forum for me to vent about my real-life neighbor.

My sweaty and hirsute, next door neighbor lives in a ramshackle, falling-down house. I hear that only one room of his abode is habitable. Every night, he comes home from work, carrying a 12-pack of Keystone Ice beer and a styrofoam container of fried take-out food and he sits on his porch - which faces into our LIVING ROOM - and proceeds to eat, drink and smoke for hours. He burps, he coughs from the chain smoking, and then, the icing on the cake, he waddles down from his porch and PEES, yes, PEES upon the side of his house...nightly, in full view of our windows.

As a fun side note, he also leaves his condiments outside on a little table. Food poisoning, anyone? We have seen him take bites of his food and then spray the bottled butter directly into his mouth!!!

His neighbor on his other side, gets so disgusted with the state of his lawn and house that he has often times cleaned up this guy's mess!

My friends driving by on Main Street often email me and say, "Saw your neighbor on the porch last night..." Yeah, wow, that IS surprising!

Oh, and the neighbor on the other side of me, is my ex-husband. It doesn't get any better than this!


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Have a Next-Door Neighbor Story?

As part of our new webcomic, Next-Door Neighbor, we thought it appropriate to have a little contest. Tell us your best true next-door neighbor story, and the winning tale will be matched with an artist and transformed into a webcomic and included as the final installment of Next-Door Neighbor.

About Next-Door Neighbor

No matter how close or how far, we all live next to someone, and we all have a Next-Door Neighbor story. With that in mind, editor Dean Haspiel asked some of his favorite storytellers and cartoonists to create their favorite NDN stories so we could share them with you.

The Fine Print & Contest Rules

By submitting an entry, you are granting SMITH the right to reprint or republish that entry online or in print, as well as make any necessary edits. See SMITH's terms of service for complete details.

This contest ends September 1, 2008. Prizes are not redeemable for cash and must be accepted as awarded. Winners are decided at the discretion of SMITH judges and all decisions are final. SMITH reserves the right to change the contest rules. Enter as often as you want. SMITH reserves the right to reprint or republish all entries.

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