What's Your Next-Door Neighbor Story?

Cheese and crackers

"Welcome!" said the door mat outside the new neighbours front door. 'Yes, but do they mean it?' I asked myself. I felt impelled to find out the truth. So I confronted my new neighbour at her house, hoping for some peace of mind. I knocked at the door.
'Hello.' A fairly attractive brunette woman greeted me at the door.
'Your 'welcome' mat'. I said, not trying to give too much away.
'Yes, what about it?' She said in a cheery yet probing manner.
'I want to know if you really mean it.' I monitored her face for anything that might indicate something insidious or false.
'Mean it? I don't know what you mean.' she said, still oddly, cheerful.
'Do you mean it: are people really welcome in your house?' she laughed as if I had said something funny!
'Yes, of course.' she said. 'Are you my next door neighbour? Would you like to come in for a cup of tea?'
'Thankyou, but right now I would like to clarify the meaning of the 'welcome' mat, if you wouldn't mind'. I was being perfectly amiable but for some reason, her patience seemed to waver.
'Ok... but I don't know if I can help you much further with this matter.' she was starting to look nervous so I figured that she was paranoid. I continued gently.
'How 'welcome' are people in you home? Because, as you can understand, I am a man who doesn't like to mix his nuts.'
'Sorry?' I thought she must be slow, so I spoke slower for her.
'I want- to- know- if- you- like- to- mix- your- cheese- with- your- crackers?'
'I'm sorry, but I have no idea what you are talking about!' she looked frustrated so I rephrased my question to be more explicit.
'I want to know if you like your butter spread thickly; whether you are willing to share your pizza; and if you prefer your sausages short and thick or long and thin.' For some reason after this last statement her expression changed as though she finally understood what I was talking about.
'Oh, you are talking about the picnic. I sent you an invitation today and you needn't bring a thing. Anyway its been fun but I have to go now, see you on Saturday.' She smiled at me and closed the door.
'What picnic?' I said to the closed door.


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Have a Next-Door Neighbor Story?

As part of our new webcomic, Next-Door Neighbor, we thought it appropriate to have a little contest. Tell us your best true next-door neighbor story, and the winning tale will be matched with an artist and transformed into a webcomic and included as the final installment of Next-Door Neighbor.

About Next-Door Neighbor

No matter how close or how far, we all live next to someone, and we all have a Next-Door Neighbor story. With that in mind, editor Dean Haspiel asked some of his favorite storytellers and cartoonists to create their favorite NDN stories so we could share them with you.

The Fine Print & Contest Rules

By submitting an entry, you are granting SMITH the right to reprint or republish that entry online or in print, as well as make any necessary edits. See SMITH's terms of service for complete details.

This contest ends September 1, 2008. Prizes are not redeemable for cash and must be accepted as awarded. Winners are decided at the discretion of SMITH judges and all decisions are final. SMITH reserves the right to change the contest rules. Enter as often as you want. SMITH reserves the right to reprint or republish all entries.

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