What's Your Next-Door Neighbor Story?

This is an uncomfortable arrangement - to have the military man and his wine drinking wife just across the backyard for The Rest of Our Lives

Our next door neighbors are also the people who built this house in 1975. This is an uncomfortable arrangement - to have the military man and his wine drinking wife just across the backyard for The Rest of Our Lives. I immediately committed the sin of painting the walls with colors other than cream to match the cream carpet. After his paint choice disgust, I no longer invite them in. At some point, he informed us that his new patio door has a great view into his old patio door. I wasn't even particularly offended when he suggested I feel free to walk naked in front of said window. I did buy curtains though. Really dark, thick curtains. I feel a little like our life, in this already too small town, is suddenly a giant big screen movie that they are critiquing at every possible opportunity. He even installed a gate in our fence so he didn't have to walk the entire perimeter of the property to get to our house. This is not exaggerated. I seriously got home to find a new gate I wasn't expecting in our fence. All of that and I don't despise the neighbors yet. I've considered a very tall privacy fence, but I'm still not hatin. Until. Until I am on the deck in the backyard. Wine is flowing, friends are enjoying each other and then a sludge of silence covers everyone as they stare at the man carrying an armful of flowers across our yard. It's really, really quiet and all eyes watch as he struts past to his new gate. He grins at us and announces that his wife wanted flowers so he came to pick some of his peonies for her. I actually would never even pick one bloom for my own table, but I find myself trying to explain why this man thinks its completely appropriate to help himself to our property at any moment and I can't find the words to make it sensical. Because it is not. So I wait until we are watching their new house while they are out of town. And I help myself. To his private supply of homemade hooch. Our neighbors are the couple who we purchased our house from. And we have an unspoken arrangement. He makes really good hooch. There is even a shortcut through the back fence. How convenient.

Comments

No comments yet, why not leave one of your own?



Leave a Comment or Share Your Story

Please Sign In. Only community members can comment.

Have a Next-Door Neighbor Story?

As part of our new webcomic, Next-Door Neighbor, we thought it appropriate to have a little contest. Tell us your best true next-door neighbor story, and the winning tale will be matched with an artist and transformed into a webcomic and included as the final installment of Next-Door Neighbor.

About Next-Door Neighbor


No matter how close or how far, we all live next to someone, and we all have a Next-Door Neighbor story. With that in mind, editor Dean Haspiel asked some of his favorite storytellers and cartoonists to create their favorite NDN stories so we could share them with you.

The Fine Print & Contest Rules

By submitting an entry, you are granting SMITH the right to reprint or republish that entry online or in print, as well as make any necessary edits. See SMITH's terms of service for complete details.

This contest ends September 1, 2008. Prizes are not redeemable for cash and must be accepted as awarded. Winners are decided at the discretion of SMITH judges and all decisions are final. SMITH reserves the right to change the contest rules. Enter as often as you want. SMITH reserves the right to reprint or republish all entries.

 
SMITH Magazine

SMITH Magazine is a home for storytelling.
We believe everyone has a story, and everyone
should have a place to tell it.
We're the creators and home of the
Six-Word Memoir® project.