What's Your Next-Door Neighbor Story?

The Translation to Fantasy

France, 1984. Matt wanted to have sex on the neighbor's couch so we did. They were his landlords and he wanted to desecrate their lordship with simple fucking. So one day when the coast was clear we crept in to their apartment and positioned ourselves on the couch. I felt something like a couch myself, hosting Matt’s fantasy. It was a silk, stuffy couch, a fussy house, and I didn't like the arrangement: he lived in an adjacent apartment, caring for the plants and such when they were away. In exchange for paying almost no rent, he had also agreed to occasionally act as a waiter when they entertained. Since I was the girlfriend who was nearly always there, the lady of the house eventually knocked on the door and insisted I also serve. She could hear me through the wall, she said. So there we were one cocktail hour, fumbling Americans offering doily covered tin platters of French bread to the middling French. Seated on the desecrated couch as she sent us hither and thither, the lady must have considered the probability of our fucking on it. If she did, though, it probably only made her more determined to take advantage of our servitude. At the end of the evening, we cleared up and I washed the floor in heels. It’s possible that, in the black-and-white outfit I’d been required to wear, I looked something like the French maid from the basic fantasy. It would have been rich fodder for later if I'd have been of that mind, but the disdain of the lady didn't translate into fantasy, and our sex was banal that night if existent. I served them to serve him and my annoyance, as usual, went unrequited. Only once was my desire for some kind of a response satisfied: Matt almost burned me while washing my hair in their tiny porcelain sink. There was no shower. I remember I felt a stupid gratification that he had been almost to blame. Today I think of his careful washing and his fear of hurting me and I feel ashamed - again the type of shame that doesn't translate to fantasy.


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Have a Next-Door Neighbor Story?

As part of our new webcomic, Next-Door Neighbor, we thought it appropriate to have a little contest. Tell us your best true next-door neighbor story, and the winning tale will be matched with an artist and transformed into a webcomic and included as the final installment of Next-Door Neighbor.

About Next-Door Neighbor

No matter how close or how far, we all live next to someone, and we all have a Next-Door Neighbor story. With that in mind, editor Dean Haspiel asked some of his favorite storytellers and cartoonists to create their favorite NDN stories so we could share them with you.

The Fine Print & Contest Rules

By submitting an entry, you are granting SMITH the right to reprint or republish that entry online or in print, as well as make any necessary edits. See SMITH's terms of service for complete details.

This contest ends September 1, 2008. Prizes are not redeemable for cash and must be accepted as awarded. Winners are decided at the discretion of SMITH judges and all decisions are final. SMITH reserves the right to change the contest rules. Enter as often as you want. SMITH reserves the right to reprint or republish all entries.

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