What's Your Next-Door Neighbor Story?

one too many in the room.

‘We were lying in bed.’
‘You should tell them that it was the first time we were lying in bed.’
‘It was the first time we were lying in bed and actually we weren’t lying in bed, we were on the futon.’
‘It was our first time on the uncomfortable futon and perhaps we were a little too loud.’
‘We were making out.’
‘ We were laughing! Don’t make it sound like our first time on the futon I had you in chains and you were screaming epithets!’
‘We were making innocent noises, i.e giggles and such.’
‘Innocent, I want to get in your pants noises. It wasn’t even that late!’
‘It was close to midnight. On a Monday.’
‘I repeat not that late.’
‘For you.’
‘For me?! For anybody!’
‘We were making out when we heard a pounding on the ceiling.’
‘You heard it, I thought he dropped something.’
‘We move the making out to the bedroom.’
‘We started having sex…..’
‘And then the jerk started stomping on the floor!’
‘We didn’t think too much of it at first, but the third, forth, fifth time! I wanted to kill him!’
“Every time we got into any sort of a rhythm he would start pounding on the floor’
‘I wanted to kill him.’
‘When he pounded down the stairs and stood outside the door I knew we had gone too far.’
‘He just stood there, he didn’t even knock.’
‘I volunteered to answer the door naked. That would teach him.’
‘But we didn’t do anything. We just laid there not having sex.’
‘He walked away eventually.’
‘We fell asleep eventually.’
‘At 6am he woke us up.’
‘I honestly thought it was an earthquake.’
‘He jumped up and down at least 20 times to make sure we were awake.’
‘You could feel his anger seeping through the floor boards.’
‘He dragged himself all over the apartment for about 15 minutes before slamming the buildings front door.’
‘I now point my screams in the direction of the ceiling.’
‘You really are a giver.’
‘I hope the week of marathon- 2am- S&M- sessions drives him out.’
‘We won’t know till we try now will we.’


No comments yet, why not leave one of your own?

Leave a Comment or Share Your Story

Please Sign In. Only community members can comment.

Have a Next-Door Neighbor Story?

As part of our new webcomic, Next-Door Neighbor, we thought it appropriate to have a little contest. Tell us your best true next-door neighbor story, and the winning tale will be matched with an artist and transformed into a webcomic and included as the final installment of Next-Door Neighbor.

About Next-Door Neighbor

No matter how close or how far, we all live next to someone, and we all have a Next-Door Neighbor story. With that in mind, editor Dean Haspiel asked some of his favorite storytellers and cartoonists to create their favorite NDN stories so we could share them with you.

The Fine Print & Contest Rules

By submitting an entry, you are granting SMITH the right to reprint or republish that entry online or in print, as well as make any necessary edits. See SMITH's terms of service for complete details.

This contest ends September 1, 2008. Prizes are not redeemable for cash and must be accepted as awarded. Winners are decided at the discretion of SMITH judges and all decisions are final. SMITH reserves the right to change the contest rules. Enter as often as you want. SMITH reserves the right to reprint or republish all entries.

SMITH Magazine

SMITH Magazine is a home for storytelling.
We believe everyone has a story, and everyone
should have a place to tell it.
We're the creators and home of the
Six-Word Memoir® project.