I Couldn't Ask For Another
When I moved into my building four years ago, I swore my upstairs neighbor had stilettos welded to her feet and house music on repeat. I heard at all hours, but there were also long stretches of silence. It wasn’t overbearing, but enough that my chandelier would sometimes shake.
I finally met my neighbor one evening when water suddenly began gushing from my bathroom ceiling. I ran upstairs to her apartment, hoping to find the source of the issue. A woman in her mid-40s answered the door. She was wearing spandex leggings and black fitted cotton polo shirt with a leopard fur collar. The first thing she said to me was, “you have water leaking too, don’t you?” and opened her door wide for me to enter.
As I stepped into her living room, I stopped to look. The walls were neon green, there were electric blue bookcases, a dingy white shag rug, a white Formica console, DJ turntables, and a vast record collection. A glimpse of the kitchen revealed hot pink walls and framed music posters featuring a younger version of the woman standing before me. As we made our way down the hall, I saw a closet full of neon colored clothes – a wardrobe befitting of the Jetsons. In her red and black-walled bathroom, there was three inches of water. We called the super. I went back downstairs to wait, but not before noticing the name Lady Miss Keir written on the posters hanging on her walls.
Once back at my apartment, I Googled “Lady Miss Keir.” Here’s what I discovered:
“Lady Miss Keir was the lead singer of pop band, Deee-Lite. Their best known single is “Groove Is in the Heart.” Lady Keir still tours the world today as both a solo act and International DJ.”
I also found her website, where it occurred to me there was something I could do about all of the noise: I clicked on her Tour page to see when she’d be out of town next. I learned she’d be in Russia, then Vegas. This proved to be the perfect solution. I can now anticipate when I should expect the vocal exercises and DJing to increase and when I can look forward to periods of silence. I also downloaded “Groove is in the Heart,” thus single-handedly increasing her royalty check by 12 cents. After all, what are neighbors for?