What's Your Next-Door Neighbor Story?

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I have serious issues with a neighbor of mine. This woman has two children and they are just as bad as her. For years we have gone through things with her sons and my son. She is the biggest drama queen I have ever known and the most immature adult amongst the neighborhood. This woman works for a law firm and tells people that she is …

It was around 2:30 in the morning and I was in bed, nodding in and out of consciousness due to a heavy night of imbibing, when I heard a couple of shots outside. It wasn't anywhere near the 4th of July, so the noise struck me as odd since it normally feels safe in this northwest Chicago neighborhood. Even so, I didn't feel like getting out of bed for any …

The people next door started off okay when they first moved in. No noise, not a sound from them. They had a few kids, a few animals. Two Rihno like looking dogs and a bunch of cats that loved using our backyard as a hang out/litter box. The wife or girlfriend was even kinda fine. Although all I ever saw was the back of her, but still, it was …

I'd call them the neighbors from hell, but that would be an insult to neighbors from hell. They were not just loud, they were jet-engine loud. They cranked the music and partied all night, every night. They had drums in the living room. In an apartment. An apartment that had a wall in common with my bedroom. It got bad enough that I started having to go to bed with …

"Welcome!" said the door mat outside the new neighbours front door. 'Yes, but do they mean it?' I asked myself. I felt impelled to find out the truth. So I confronted my new neighbour at her house, hoping for some peace of mind. I knocked at the door.
'Hello.' A fairly attractive brunette woman greeted me at the door.
'Your 'welcome' mat'. I said, not trying to give too …


His name is Tad. I've been calling him Chad for over 3 months to which he responds. His door is at the top of the stairs right accross from mine. He leaves it open all the time.The landlord has yelled at him to keep it closed because it stinks in there. His apartment is neat as a pin and smells like ass. That's because it smells just like …

He was tall and hairy, with a full beard and a thick accent.

"You haf room to rent?"

‘He looks like Rasputin,’ I thought, remembering a TV documentary about the Russian mystic who mesmerized the czar and czarina before the 1917 revolution.

Rasputin was known as the Mad Monk.

"Uh, j-just a minute,” I stammered. “I have to get my stepfather."

It …

Stripper Neighbor; kids played in dumpster.

When my family moved into our current house, nearly four years ago, we never got to know our next-door neighbours, an older man and woman. All I can really tell you about them is that the man would mow the lawn seemingly every other day in the summer. It seemed crazy to me that anyone would spend that much time mowing their lawn, but I figured that maybe he was …

I moved into my first apartment in 1986, when I was 18. I had been there barely a month when the landlord knocked on my door and asked me if I would go across the hall with her to inspect the apartment.

I had only once met the lady who had lived there. She was in her late 40s, barely five-feet tall, and walked with a pronounced …

When I was towards the end of my 2nd trimester of pregnancy, my future husband and I were sleeping on a king-sized mattress on the floor of his apartment. We shared a wall with a very very nice guy (I forget his name now) who had a great golden retriever named, Albert. Albert was a typical golden retriever; happy, gregarious, just all around lovable, until that is, his owner would …

My next-door neighbor played with swords in the lawn, while listening to 80s butt rock. Sometimes he read philosophy or greek epics while basting in sun, sweat, and ancient porch couch particles. He taught me about 3D glasses. Sometimes he put asthmatic dorks in awe of his ninja-training. He accidentally threw a girl into the hole in front of the basement window. He wrote her poetry …

I don't know whether anyone's ever watched an episode of Australian show "Neighbours" but the theme song is what inspired the headline... hehehe

I've always had such luck with my neighbours. Being a good one and having good ones means that I'm fortunate enough to have had either respectful co-existences or actual proper friendships with them.

Wendy and LuLu [chihuahua] in the townhouse behind me where I …
Pregnant and buzzing like an angry bee, and mate, sinewy with white trash rat face yelling at all hours. Steady streams of friends passing out under umbrellas on couches on a concrete lawn. Cats and pitbulls running through our open front door. Shouting, broken windows again and again and the garage sale that stood unattended for two weeks before their final eviction. The mountain of trash they left, full of …

Here in Queens, 15 story co-ops aren't unusual. But sometimes, their occupants are. My wife and I lived on the fourth floor with a terrace facing the street. It was a nice quiet little one bedroom that was sun drenched most of the day. This was our first apartment together and every experience was new. New at keeping house, new at being responsible for every bill …

So I had work in two hours. I just needed my uniform to be clean by then. I had six quarters for the laundromat downstairs.
That night was gearing up to be shitty. There had been steady rainfall since I woke. I had to work. And I had a bum windshield wiper. Not only was I working, but I was risking my life …

I live in a six story high rise in East Providence, Rhode Island, so I suppose I have many neighboors, but there is one that sticks out to me like a soar thumb. Actually, make that a partially amputated thumb with gangrene.
I'm a person who keeps my head down and tries to get where I need to be as fast as I can. …

There was this old man who lived across the street from me as a kid, in a trailer park. He was old, wizened black man who worked at
the corner convenience store, cooking the chicken. He had a soft,
kind, face, with a scraggly white beard. When he'd walk down the
sidewalk, all of the neighborhood stray cats would follow him like
the Pied Piper. He …

Tiffany knocked on the door and asked if she could use the phone. Her cell phone was out of minutes. While she talked, I went into my office and got one of my novels. When she finished her phone conversation, I gave the book to her, my gift to my young neighbor.

She was amazed that I was an author. Some people seem to think authors are such a …

They were much older than I. Bold. Ugly. Big. and never said anything than "hello" to me. I knew one of them was working in financial things by the way he dressed and the hour he came back at home.

Once we've cracked their internet firewall, and seen all their private pictures and videos. We had a fight when they discovered that we were stealing their bandwidth. …
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Have a Next-Door Neighbor Story?

As part of our new webcomic, Next-Door Neighbor, we thought it appropriate to have a little contest. Tell us your best true next-door neighbor story, and the winning tale will be matched with an artist and transformed into a webcomic and included as the final installment of Next-Door Neighbor.

About Next-Door Neighbor

No matter how close or how far, we all live next to someone, and we all have a Next-Door Neighbor story. With that in mind, editor Dean Haspiel asked some of his favorite storytellers and cartoonists to create their favorite NDN stories so we could share them with you.

The Fine Print & Contest Rules

By submitting an entry, you are granting SMITH the right to reprint or republish that entry online or in print, as well as make any necessary edits. See SMITH's terms of service for complete details.

This contest ends September 1, 2008. Prizes are not redeemable for cash and must be accepted as awarded. Winners are decided at the discretion of SMITH judges and all decisions are final. SMITH reserves the right to change the contest rules. Enter as often as you want. SMITH reserves the right to reprint or republish all entries.

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