What's Your Next-Door Neighbor Story?

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We lived next door to a couple and their teen kids. For their anniversary, husband gave wife a negligee shop. Sarah had the body of young twenties, the face of fifties. Great couple. The husband once ran out with a shotgun when we came home to find someone had broken in and was still there. I used to skip school with friends to go check out Sarah's store, dragging boys …

I was sitting out side with several of my girlfriends watching my daughters play in the yard when my male neighbor, who wears a mullet, you know, business in the front and party in the back hair cut, short, cut off jean shorts and no shirt comes out side. He is talking on the telephone and walks to the mailbox. He appears to be having a very interesting …

I was nine, when my dad came home one night with the keys to a trailer on six acres of land. It was a good 30 minutes on out skirts of Belfair, nothing but woods and water for miles. We didn't even have electricity. The whole trailer ran on a generator in the back yard. The only thing within miles was the neighbor on the other side of the lake. …

Living in a students residence. Got the room right next to his. Falled in love immediately. Heard you having sex in the room above mine. Still with the crush. Finally broke up with her. You started to say how much I smelled well, I much I looked good with glasses. Even went to your house and slept there. I knew it was my chance, but I was too afraid to …

Wow...I never thought that there'd be a forum for me to vent about my real-life neighbor.

My sweaty and hirsute, next door neighbor lives in a ramshackle, falling-down house. I hear that only one room of his abode is habitable. Every night, he comes home from work, carrying a 12-pack of Keystone Ice beer and a styrofoam container of fried take-out food and he sits on his porch - …

My neighbor is convinced that my dogs poop in her yard. She's yelled at me countless times about picking up feces in her yard that is obviously not canine. My dogs never leave my yard without me and never without a leash. They are large and I understand they may look intimidating to non-dog lovers. The latest incident happened at 5 a.m. I was returning home from my morning walk …

We have all had the one weird neighbor. You know the one I’m talking about; they just aren’t all together there. I’ve had my share of these neighbors, from the guy who lived behind us and refused to mow his lawn, to the rednecks that lived across the street. I’m going to tell you about the young man who lived across the hall from me freshman year though.

This …

My old world Armenian neighbors always sound like they're yelling. From the moment I moved in and with impeccable regularity twice a day they pound something in their walk-in closet bordering my own here in my little one bedroom bungalow. I've started a top ten list of possible explanations that includes churning their own butter, beheading a goat, building an ark, burying relatives and actually banging. My whole apartment shakes. …

One weekend the neighbors set up a yard sale. They hang
clothes on a rope strung between two trees and pile everything else on or under makeshift tables of sawhorses and sheets of plywood. A set of barbells and a mound of stuffed animals sit in the grass along the sidewalk. The weather’s warm, breezy– all day Saturday and Sunday shoppers wander in and out of the …

When I was growing up in Lynn Massachusetts. There werent a lot of neighbors I could talk to. Most were crack-heads...Drunks...Losers...There was one. Malcom is what we called him, though I am sure that was not his name. He used to entertain my sister and I by drinking our bubbles and swalllowing his cigarettes. He was one of the afformentioned people. A Drunk. …

My neighbor, Skip Douglas, just went by Skip. We never knew why. He was a very structured man like he’d been in the Army all his life, but as far as we knew, he wasn't at all. The way how structured he is and how he has his kids and a set schedule with yard work, meals, and more. Also, the way he dresses …

I am sixteen years old,
i dont talk to all of my neighbors.
the ones i have gotten close to have
passed away when i least expected,
i still feel like they live there when i go outside.
i think their spirits remain there forever.

Yeah, so one day I went over to my neighbors house. We were in her parents bedroom, which wasn't a good plan in the first place, but thats were they kept their computer. Sitting there she confessed to me that she had found one of her moms *ahem* vibrators in the drawer while looking for something. She got it out, and touched it which was the worst part. So about …

My neighbours are a silent, middle aged couple. They say hello when we pass, don't have loud parties, go to bed early and sometimes we doubt a little that they actually exist.

Their son lives there too. He is also quiet, says hello when we pass, doesn't have loud parties and seems to go to bed early. He also was in prison for raping his 15 year old cousin …
My neighbour and I do not share a common language. Literally. I live in Sarajevo & speak minimal Bosnian, although I can understand enough to follow most conversations easily and her English is non-existent. One morning I was waiting outside our building to be picked up and she arrived back from her morning walking the dogs. We chatted a little, mostly me nodding and her asking me questions. I had …

I live in a townhouse in a quiet little neighborhood, well, now that the methlab is busted. People smile as you pass and children ride their bikes on the sidewalks until the sunsets. Things are normal around these parts.
We all know how tough married life can be on young newlyweds, so no one thought much that the neighbors were occasionally seen yelling, but many were surprised to know that …

One year on halloween we had a big costume party. Alot of people showed up and it was hard to keep track of who was who. Then I noticed that the teenage boy who had recently moved in accross the street had come over. We had yet to meet him or his family. I noticed through out the night he kept running back over to his house and then back …

My neighbors ride motorcycles
honk horns throughout the night
and day drink their liquor
while screaming profanities at their dog;
"Get the FUCK back here Snowbunny!"
The Dogs' name is Snowbunny.

Several years ago, I lived in an apartment, and I shared a wall with a guy who dressed like a rapper. This guy constantly brought home ladies weighing well over 250 pounds. Everytime he did, I woke up at about 3 in the morning to the sound of them porking with Simple Plan playing in the background. He lived next to me for about 3 months. …

When I was an undergrad, my life was full of Steves. I hopelessly pined after Steve the drummer, while my best friend was stalked by Steve the psycho, and on both sides of my little yellow house on Summit Street lived Steve-the-crackhead and Steve-the-lawyer.

Steve-the-crackhead had three daughters who also lived with him. The two youngest would come over to my house to play games …
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Have a Next-Door Neighbor Story?

As part of our new webcomic, Next-Door Neighbor, we thought it appropriate to have a little contest. Tell us your best true next-door neighbor story, and the winning tale will be matched with an artist and transformed into a webcomic and included as the final installment of Next-Door Neighbor.

About Next-Door Neighbor


No matter how close or how far, we all live next to someone, and we all have a Next-Door Neighbor story. With that in mind, editor Dean Haspiel asked some of his favorite storytellers and cartoonists to create their favorite NDN stories so we could share them with you.

The Fine Print & Contest Rules

By submitting an entry, you are granting SMITH the right to reprint or republish that entry online or in print, as well as make any necessary edits. See SMITH's terms of service for complete details.

This contest ends September 1, 2008. Prizes are not redeemable for cash and must be accepted as awarded. Winners are decided at the discretion of SMITH judges and all decisions are final. SMITH reserves the right to change the contest rules. Enter as often as you want. SMITH reserves the right to reprint or republish all entries.

 
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