Hormones Suck.

Every little girl dreams of the day she will fall in love, get married, and have children. We play act it out with our teddy bears, dolls and later our Barbies. Barbies are so much better equipped for the X rated stuff.

All little girls are stupid.

Who else would dream of the first day of life servitude with such gusto?

If ever a prisoner was heard exclaiming: “Yay, my first day of my life sentence at a maximum security prison, I am so excited!!!” they would appeal the courts sentence and placed that poor deranged soul in a nice comfy padded room instead.

Married life is hell. Raising children is hell. Let us not even get started on giving birth or nursing.

So why do we do it? Why are so many of smart, strong women lining up to sign away their lives and independence?

Women are held hostage by their hormones.

Most of us have this sick craving to fall in love, get married, and have children. We go out actively seek it everyday. We flirt at work, at the grocery store, the mall, sitting in traffic with that really hot guy on the motorcycle, all the time sending out feelers to see who might be interested in procreating with us. Like savage animals with sniff the air to get a scent of pheromone. And when we are good and comply our bodies rewards us with lovely endorphins to make up for the loss of true happiness.

We are addicts.

I blame evolution, and men, with their testosterone and mix messages. At first, it is all “oh baby” and pheromones and then later is it all “I am not looking for a commitment” and “stop calling here.” What the hell does that mean? Like I am? I am just a slave to my endocrine system as you are to yours. Do not put this all off on me. You were just as involved as I was. I am not leaving here until I get my marriage certificate and children.

Wait, what am I saying?

So yeah, I will see you later; by the way do you have your really hot friend’s number? In fact just give me all your friends numbers, I am feeling generous.


Uneducated ramblings of a housewife.


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