Good vs Evil? What am I?
While the bible might be a logical choice for advice on the subject of keeping a righteous path, that has really gotten me nowhere in the past. Man has tainted the message I should have gotten by way of imploding every word with religious manipulation. People near and dear to me can be quick to offer praise or condemnation as they see fit. They have such a clear idea as to my status....funny I do not. Accordingly, I look to another source. Seeing as Oscar Wilde is not in danger of being considered the founder of anything religion, I ponder his words:
Do you really think ... that it is weakness that yields to temptation? I tell you that there are terrible temptations that it requires strength, strength and courage, to yield to. To stake all one's life on a single moment, to risk everything on one throw, whether the stake be power or pleasure, I care not -- there is no weakness in that.
I have been weak. I have been strong. I have been a sinner and a saint. I am not pure anything. So who am I? What am I? The sum of my parts or a single, definable something...wife? writer? friend? lover? fighter?
I've expressed the feeling of being torn apart in a number of 6 word memoirs. One of the early ones:
You stole me, piece by piece
Time and space allowed for continued points of ponder to a place where I can say:
Not willing to accept his will
If my worthiness is based on my ability to lay down and die at the feet of the almighty will, count me out.
In fact, in the words of Morrissey "I have forgiven Jesus" Blasphamy at first glance I know. Yet I understand in forgiving others you forgive yourself..so as I am told by God and his army to do this and not do that and be this and not be that, I get angry...angry with God and any religion that claims to show me the way.
Now I am here:
10 days of atonement, finally forgiven.
Now what do I do...............................