Middle Life Questioning

As a true middle lifer I can now appreciate all that my mother and all the other women went through to get where I now am. Age 55 is halfway -- half on the good part of where life was and half way on the other side! Middle Age women I always imagined to be old, fat and ugly. But now I am one of them and hope that I am none of those, even tho I do need to lose a few pounds. Questions that I had as a little girl have continued into adulthood, just different questions now. How will life be for me in the years left? Will I end up in one of those nursing homes or will I need looking after when I do get older? But other questions closer to my time where I am right now in this time of my life. come also. Am I doing what my Lord wants me to do? I do not want this life to be a waste of time or talent, but rather to be one of enormous value. What does the future hold for me seems to be a frequently asked question. I don't know still seems to be the answer. I hope that at some point in my life there has been that purposeful living, that living with that determined point of view. As a child I was prone to daydream; now as an adult I have dreams that my life will yet please Him who created me. To live an unfulfilled life must be a completely lonely experience and hope I do not meet that person on my travels. Middle of the road is not to the right or to the left. A middle child is neither the firstborn nor the baby. So in middle life I am not a child, nor a young adult, not even a younger feeling adult yet I am not an old woman. I believe that at a younder age you can feel as tho life has passed you by, that you've missed it. For me the it would be that I would have lived my life without being happy and content. Sometimes I admit that it is hard, most especially on my present job, one filled with much stress and duty. A question now I have been asking myself and my Lord is Should I stay on my job or retire? I work in a place that I could retire. Retirement is with 25 years or 10 years of service at age 55. I realize that as I have grown in the job over these years how tired I have become and how unhappy I really am. In these trying financial times job security is not an easy thing to have, because for a lot of folks just having a job is the security. I guess I should be thankful and just continue on. After all, the retirement money I would receive would not be as much as my income now, and goodness knows most of us do not like to take a pay unhike!! I want to be in the center of the Lord's will for all of my days, for the rest of my days, that my time left on this earth will be good and profitable (even if that doesn't mean moneywise) Maybe middle agers start getting down to business with God, their family, and friends. It would certainly be about time to do so I suppose. I believe people are wonderful creations by our Heavenly Father and how we use our lives depends on us. Do we waste our lives, our talents, our gifts on foolish endavors, on selfish pleasures only? Do we examine our hearts, our very lives to determine who we are exactly? What we see may scare us. We people whatever age we may be may not like what we see if we should start taking a deep,long look inside. We may not like what we really look like. Hiding our true self from others may be easy, but hiding from ourselves and from God is impossible. My question to you would be -- Have you looked inside yourself lately? Did you like what you saw? Yesterday is a day of the past, tomorrow is a day of the future, but today is a day of the now. Isn't it time to make your life count? Today is a marvelous day to start.

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