On the Road Again, I Hope

Are we there yet?

There's a little sign on the dashboard of my 1975 Chevy van that says, "Are we there yet?"
It started off as a joke, a question I would ask myself, not to determine if I was closing in on the next city, the next campground, the next rest stop or the next job. I wanted to know if I was happy yet.

Maybe deep down inside that's what we're all asking, "Am I there yet?"
"Am I happy? Am I successful? Am I loveable? Am I brilliant? Am I good enough? Am I smart enough? Am I competent?"

I'm sitting here with my utilities off, my van packed and the question hanging heavily in my mind.

"Do I move back in the van, keep the apartment, give up the apartment? Am I happy? Am I there yet?"

After almost 18 months of homelessness - which included a stint couch-surfing at a friend's house and commuting to the Wal-Mart parking lot where I left my van during the day and drove my Toyota to work, I moved back into an apartment. I've been here two years and it's just not the fun I thought it would be. Sure, it's nice to have my own shower and toilet and a washer/dryer in the kitchen. It's not nice coming up with $600 a month to fund it all. Some months are easier than others, but with the economy - it's gotten harder.

The siren song of the van beckons. I have no problem moving back and taking off for the summer, but do I really want to give up the apartment. So I sit. And ponder. "Am I there yet?"

Comments

quiteliterally says,

awesome!

MemoriesRemain says,

Thats a really great story. Are we happy yet? And what will it take to be "there?" I admire your courage to go outside the norm and live like you want. Live the life thats a bit outside but makes you happy.

itsmyoyster says,

Happiness is not something we should aim for yet inevitably postpone because we are preoccupied with preparing for it, ie earning for our retirement. Happiness is something we should be doing every day. Life is not short, it is long - too long to spend it doing things that don't make us happy. If it's the van and the road that make you smile, why hang on to the apartment if the only reason you do is because you think it's what other people think you should do? Let us know how you spent the summer!

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