I was worried sick. And I didnÃ¢ï¿½ï¿½t even have a valid reason. I just had a crush on someone.I remember that when I was a kid – I’m seventeen now, can I say ‘when I was a kid’ yet? I suppose so. – I remember that we used to go to the swimming pool with the whole family, well, the five of us. My brothers didn’t fight each other as much then as they tend to do now. It’s like they’ve developed and instinctive need of hitting each other over the years. It’s irritating, to say the least, but I’m still glad they leave me out of it. But anyway, this aggressive behaviour ahs caused such annoyance with my parents that they’ve stopped to take us to the pool ever so often during the summer holiday. I don’t usually mind, but there are moments that I long for that swimming pool. I sometimes want to be four years old again, running around the kiddie pool wearing a little pair of diaper-swimming pants. The freedom from care. I miss that. No, actually, I don’t. It’s quite logical if you think of it; I can remember barely anything from when I was four years old. Plus the whole diaper-thing was highly exaggerated. I was toilet-trained when I was four. Okay, so what you don’t remember, you simply cannot miss. But I still want to be carefree, so I still wish I could just turn four again.