dr. vs. intuition
but jackson is my turf. i know the ins and outs of my son better than anyone else (thank you for reminding me of that, mom.)
i feel capable of making decisions concerning jackson's health. it's only taken 10 months of him physically being in my life in order for me to say that, but hell, i said it. so there!
this has been an issue for me since the very beginning. doctors, specialists, behaviorists, bla bla bla... ists. i've heard the input from all of you. i have leaned on all of you, continue to lean on all of you. and now i am feeling capable.
my latest battle has been with jackson's pediatrician's office here in annapolis. and i don't use the word "battle" to insinuate that it's been this knock-down-drag-out fight that's been going on. it's just been a lot of back and forth... and back.
they want to run more tests on jackson. apparently not a lot of doctors buy in to the whole cyclic vomiting scenario our son has going on. that's fine. not many doctors believe that jackson was allergic to my breastmilk either. during one of our hospitalizations in atlanta, a pediatrician told me that it was "impossible" for a child to be allergic to his/her mother's breastmilk. "that child would not be carried to term if it were allergic," she scoffed.
it's never been my intent to sway people, readers, doctors, with our story. i put this out there to inform, in the hopes that someone else who is going through this (god help them) finds comfort in knowing they are not alone.
so back to the tests... they want to run a metabolic screen on jackson (which was done by our geneticist in jacksonville) to see if there is an abnormality that may show why he doesn't gain weight (don't we all wish we had that problem?) and they want to do another upper gi with barium swallow.
jackson has had two upper gi with barium swallow studies done... in addition to two abdomenal ultrasounds, an endoscopy, and (almost) a gastric emptying scan (we opted out of this test once we learned that jackson would be strapped to a table for 2 hours while a radiologist watched the contents of his stomach travel and then empty.)
the tests that this pediatrician wants to have done aren't all that invasive in my opinion. one is a blood test and the other has jackson drinking radioactive fluid. whatever. been there, done that. my issue is this... every single friggin test has come back normal. and that's great. totally a blessing. gives us no answers as to why our son didn't eat for the first 6 months of his life, but we're beyond that now. so given that each test has given us "normal" results, why on earth would i continue to put my son through more of them?!?
in defense of the doctors here, i know they are just trying to do what they think is best for their patient. they want to run their own tests. he's new; they are unfamiliar with his case; they know they are the reason we are in annapolis and we're now on their turf.
but jackson is my turf. i know the ins and outs of my son better than anyone else (thank you for reminding me of that, mom.) and right now, i am not seeing the need to put my son through any more testing.
jackson is doing well. his last cycle lasted for 6 full days, which is the longest one has lasted yet, but we survived. granted, i still have my skepticism keeping me company. i still silently recite my feeding mantra every time i feed jackson a bottle... dear god help him eat, dear jesus help him eat, holy spirit help him eat. good thing i'm a stellar catholic (ha!)
we have our good days and our bad. my intuition has gotten me this far, and i think i've done ok, all things considered. the order for the metabolic test and upper gi are sitting on my desk. i just need to make a phone call to schedule the appointments. but, i'm going to put the order away in the desk drawer. i'm going with my gut on this one. no more tests for now.