it's been three weeks and two days since he asked me out. I said yes. On the second week and six day he kissed me. Three times that day. It was sweet. Lately he's all I think about. Does this mean love? But the butterflies. The fireworks. I get some butterflies. I get no fireworks. What happened to the fireworks. Do people get those. Is it just a fantasy made up by lonely dreamers? If so, why say it. Why make me believe I am suppose to feel something that I can not physically feel. Now I am left with confusion. Do I love him? Do I just like him. I don't know. The situation of fireworks has left me complicated. It has left me with the fear that I will not love him. To the people that tell these stories. Stop. Your dreaming has left me incapable of loving him. I want to love him. I want to have him be loved.
Please do not leave the capable of loving be blinded and pushed in the wrong direction by your stories. The stories that leave me wishful. The stories that will leave me lonely. The stories that I hope that one day will be true. Life is not a fairy tale. I know this. So, please. Stop filling my head with those fairy tales that i so long to be real. Because if I believe anymore, which I will, I am afraid I will never love him. I will never love him, or anyone.