Pain

She walks with a past so dark and deep
One that’s created her identity
She wanted to laugh and feel like a kid
But she battled things she wish she never did
A mom who just wanted to get away
From all the things that he’d say
The yelling echoes of a fight
That carried on through the night
She’d swallow down another pill
To wash out all the pain of the world
He’d pack his bags and leave the house
The memories stay with her now

She said “Mom and dad I wish you knew
The misery that you put me through
I was young and alone with none by my side
While you two resorted to screaming fights
I can’t get rid of what I had to see
It’s a part of me it’s a part of who I’ll be
Running from the fears of my past
Worried that they might hold me back”

The hate of two lovers so strong and pure
Why couldn’t she be the cure?
Feeling like she wasn’t good enough
Wanting and ready to give it up
Just 8 years old alone in her room
She did something she thought she would never do
Reaching for a medal bottle cap
Wishing she could take it all back
She scratched at her wrists desperately
Never in the hopes of making them bleed
She cried out to God with such shame
She just wanted to get away from the pain
He told her everything would be okay
And he’d stay with her through every day
In that moment she made a decision
She’d follow God and his vision

She said “Mom and dad I wish you knew
What your misery did to me
I was young and alone with none by my side
While you two resorted to screaming fights
I can’t get rid of what I had to see
It’s a part of me it’s a part of who I’ll be
I won’t hang on or let it hold me back
I’m ready to walk away from the past”

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