Super Girl-Seems to have fallen...
This one is for you guys at Smith!! You asked for a backstory and you got one. Thanks for the Love!!! Hugs!!!
One Chapter and Verse
Couched in a bubble of glad game playing, super girl detective, friend at hand, unsatisfied wife, happy mother, gainfully employed, loses 40 lbs, joins Facebook and seems to have fallen down the rabbit hole of the first love kind: pitched forward, descending into the abyss that is all consuming in its intensity, to only experience the same madness as adults as we did when we were teenagers. Both times one of us was just not ready to commit. After a year of free falling into romantic frenzy, we ended up in the pool of tears. No regrets. Just broken hopes, and mean volleys and wishes worth pennies. Thrown down a dry well. An empty bucket swings in the wind. Time to move on and walk it off. But I have blisters on my soul becasue my heart is too tight. And my brain is all askew from the lack chemicals previously providing joy, now depleted and in need of SSRIs, most likely. The truth is this: OUCHY!!!!!
Everytime you split. You leave a bit behind. It is always there. I did not expect this to happen. It was quite organic, the falling of two. The inimitable cross context between old lovers. The timing was not auspicious once again.. And Long distance played a huge factor, as it did 35 years ago. In the end I was injured. He could not make a comittment to us.
And so, I really needed big band aids for this one. Damn, it HURTS.
I am walkin it off. It's a slow go. I have miles to go before I leap again.