The Size Of My Heart

Today I received some disturbing news.

Today I received some disturbing news. It came in an ominous white envelope from my doctor's office. The dreaded envelope contained results of recent testing I had done, including blood work, a chest X-ray, a CAT scan, an ultrasound and a venous doppler. First, let me assure you that I am ok, and not in any real danger of falling over dead any time soon. They discovered though, that I have COPD, and an arteriosclerotic aorta. So I guess the good news is that I can be treated for both conditions, and I will get serious about regular exercise and a healthier diet. Alright...don't give me that look...I promise to get on it, asap!
Really disturbing to me was to see in print that I have a very small heart! Some may quip, “well, it’s proof positive that Mumsy actually has a heart”…very funny…NOT.

But, why do I find this so disturbing? If anything, I would have expected the report to say that I have “a very big heart”. That’s what I would prefer to have seen. Yes, before you accuse me of falling completely off my rocker, I do understand the difference between the literal and the figurative…but still...

I guess what I wanted the report to reveal is that I have a really big heart…shaped like one you would find on a valentine…maybe all sparkly and red. The report should have said that my heart is full and overflowing…especially since my DBS surgery for Parkinson's, in light of all of the expressions of love and support I’ve received from my family, and from more friends than I knew I had. That would have made me smile. Instead, they have robbed me of my sparkle for today. Tomorrow I will look upon this journal entry and hopefully I will smile…while my very small heart pumps joyfully again, as I count my many blessings and take back my sparkle.

The following is the actural report I received indicating that I have a "very small heart".

04/26/2010: 71020 CHEST PA AND LATERAL

FINDINGS: PA and lateral views of the chest reveal an appearance that is suggestive of COPD, a very small heart, an arteriosclerotic aorta and a right infraclavicular stimulator related to implant for Parkinson’s disease. There is no heart failure or parenchymal consolidation.


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