My Life So Far
Submissions 1 - 10
Tattoo You
I love my tattoos; I have over twenty. I regret only one, and I had it reworked into something I am very fond of (NOTE TO EVERYONE: Think very carefully before having someone's name tattooed on your person). Many people today have love/hate relationships with tattoos. Some think they are trashy (What was once sexy on a woman is now a "tramp stamp"). Athletes sport so-called "tribal" tattoos (What tribe? Or are these creative adolescent tracings of the old drafting French curve?). There's enough bicep barbed wire out there to fence the Old West. Religious tats are popular in … Read more
a professor's fate
The man was not yet a Pulitzer Prize-winner. Had not yet been discovered by Broadway. Had only just completed the play that would make him famous. No… then, in the very early years of the Reagan Administration, he was still only the Dean of the Drama Department at an unremarkable University, lost on a map, somewhere in the Great American Southwest. He also held my fate in his hands.
I had been discovered, by him, to be an undesirable. Making money to pay for my tuition and books by cashing in on the desperation of professional men. Some, like the professor … Read more
Je m'en fiche
There was a time when, if someone tapped me on the shoulder, I would instantly whirl around wondering (if not demanding), "What?" Sometimes I would get a phone call, and, not recognizing the voice, I would let the talker chat until I could figure out who he or she was. I reasoned that it would embarrass the caller should he or she realize that I didn't immediately recognize his or her voice.
I don't remember exactly when things changed. Now when I feel a tap on my shoulder, I make a conscious choice to turn around. … Read more
A Little Bird Told Me
About a week ago, I was letting myself into my house after a particularly tiring day at work, and while standing on my little porch all-thumbing it through my ring of keys (I need them all; really!), I heard a soft noise. Right off the left edge of the porch a baby bird softly peeped from a bed of moss. And I mean baby bird. I looked up into the evergreen that towers above my house and spied a nest some fifteen feet or so above me. I could see the tail feathers of the mother … Read more
"Catch You On The Flip-Flop, Good Buddy!"
When I was in high school, my youngest sister (9 years my senior) began a longtime love affair with citizens' band radio—the CB. Truckers and cowboys, urban or otherwise, were celebrated in story and song, and CB radio—certainly the social precursor to the relative anonymity the Internet (e.g. MySpace, Facebook, etc.)—paved the way for chat rooms, text messages, and IMs. Thus began a faceless social network complete with Gordian knots of affairs, both platonic and prurient.
Always on the vanguard of communications technology, my sister handled a CB with élan and sangfroid. What fascinated me most were the names … Read more
Sigh
My parents were not huggers. And that was okay. Really. Hugs came into my life in a big way around 1973 when I joined a large Baptist church in my neighborhood. They had a dynamic youth group, and it seemed everyone was hugging. I liked it.
It is not the same anymore. Oh, my remaining family members like to hug, particularly my sisters, but I am pretty choosy nowadays. Maybe it is because I am over fifty, and people find it creepy hugging an "old guy."
You know what I find creepy? … Read more
America: This Magnificent Mess
Despite this rich, luxurious, and frayed tapestry that is America, we are, still at heart, greedy and sanctimonious – a trick we have accomplished for nearly 400 years. Before the rich cultural influx of immigrants from around the globe, America was defined by either those who sought a religious utopia based on a way of life free from the worldly trappings of wealth, power, and property or those who craved the adventure and monetary gain the New World could offer. Tragically, these groups completely overshadowed the Native Americans whose seminal influence we have … Read more
America
It seemed surreal. I didn’t know that this actually happened to real people in real life. I’d seen it happen to characters--usually played by Christina Ricci or Mary Kate Olsen--in movies that you later mock and criticize with your friends. But those bitches are rich and spoiled and have too much time on their hands. They are not me-- a Jewish Ivy League-bound straight-A student from suburban New Jersey. Or, rather, they are not what I used to be.
The airline deemed me too frail to walk alone and therefore a liability. After I steadfastly refused to sit in … Read more
Stopping for Lunch pt.2
The walls were a mauve color. I wondered why they had chosen mauve, if they thought it had some therapeutic benefits or if it was just the cheapest or the one they thought looked the best. My mom sat down, I wondered if I should sit down too, but the receptionist kept looking at me expectantly. I told her I was there for my intake evaluation, she smiled gave me a chart to fill out and I calmly sat down, like I was having a regular check up with my doctor.
… Read more
one down,eleven to go.
When I come home from school,and look into the fridge only to find that you had a twelve pack,now eleven pack of beer in the fridge,it makes me want to cry.
You don't have a job,yet you can buy beer,play the lotto and party with your girlfriend. you can drive to the casino a half hour away but make me take the city bus to school,that's only 15 minutes away.
You yell at me when I don't call you,but I don't have a phone. ( you do.)
You're more worried about you,then you are about me....and you're my mother.
More SMITH Story Projects
What can you say about love and heartbreak in six words?
Everyone has a story. Can you tell yours in six words? Submit yours to be considered for SMITH's next six-word memoir book. The first book, Not Quite What I Was Planning, is out now.