Letter to my ex

real love

Dear Freddie,

Do you remember much we loved each other? An old friend stopped to talk to me last night and conversed about how she could not believe we divorced. I can’t believe that it was 35 years ago and still people remember us as a couple. I suppose it was as much a shock to us as to all our friends. We were lucky to have shared such a passionate love.

I fell in love with you at first sight. Some people do not believe in that kind of love but it happened to me. I saw you from a distance while I was introducing myself to your sister. She was so surprise that I had never seen a cow before; since you lived on a farm and I was a city girl, everything was new to me. You just come home from work and at 15, what a man you were. My heart has not felt the same since.

I was just a baby, 14 years old! I fell in love with you and the Alabama countryside. The green pines, mountains, and dirt roads called me from the city many days. When night arrived in the south, it was all but quiet. The frogs and bugs made their selves known by the odd sounds they made.

The summer I turned 15 you fell in love with me. I was so thrilled. It is hard to believe our relationship survived as a long distance love affair. The love letters you wrote were beautiful and Mom still has the letters. Remember when I wrote, "Freddie, do you really love me?" You wrote back a letter and attached a piece of paper where you wrote "I love you" one-hundred times.

Freddie, you were the nucleus of my existence. My purpose lived with your every breath. Without you, I felt life would not be worth living. In my heart, I knew you loved me just as much. You let me know how much, in December of 1970, when you purchased a Promise Ring. The ring meant that we promised each other we would marry one day. When I went back to Detroit, I would sit and look at the ring, for hours at a time, the small diamond glittering in the sunlight.

I moved to the south in the summer of 1972. That summer of our lives we fell in love like love stories in books, movies and songs. I do not think any two people on earth could match our love. I have never felt so comfortable in my own skin. Our song was "Hot fun in the summertime" and oh, how we had fun.

In December, we married. I wore lavender GUNNESAX Victorian dress, fit for a queen, flowers in my hair and you were handsome with long brown hair, dressed in a suit. Your eyes were such a glowing blue that night. We went to our new home without the heat turned on, lay in the living room on a quilt, and made love as if it was the first time. We were so in love and our lovemaking lasted into the wee hours of the morning. We did not need heat, our love kept us warm.

This first type of love only occurs once in a lifetime. We could have lived in a cave and I would have been satisfied with just you, nature and one more day of love. The first love never happens again because it has the strength of raging bullfights, like a fire that burns up everything in its sight. There was not enough water on Earth to put it out and after six years, we could not go on. Intensely jealous, never apart except to work, we just decided together, that we could not go on. I think the divorced hurt use both but we have gone on with our lives. I just wanted to let you know how good it makes me feel when you recite my address after 32 years. When you told me I should be a writer considering all the love letters we wrote.

As I close this letter I just want you to know, Freddie, you will always hold a special place in my heart. You were my teacher and I was yours. We were so young. The most important thing to remember is several people walk this earth never having love like us. It is in that quote we can draw strength from our love. We are blessed.

Love always,


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