Dear Him, Love Her

Dear Him, Love Her

October 4, 2008
Dear him:
Things were supposed to go back to us being friends but they didn’t. And I have to watch you. EVERY DAY. My heart is completely broken. When I first met you you put my heart back in my chest. Now you shatter it. I loved you...
Love, her

October 5, 2008
Dear him:
I cry and cry over you. I wake up screaming. It’s not fair for you to take it all from me. I can’t do this. It hurts too intensely. You promised you’d stay. That you’d be here no matter what. What happened? I loved you...
Love, her

October 6, 2008
Dear him:
Today was a little better, but not much. A stab of pain still went through me every time I saw you because the man I see is not the man I loved. My heart is still shattered on the ground at your feet. I’m not furious anymore. The furry turned to despair. I loved you...
Love, her

October 7, 2008
Dear him:
What will tonight’s dreams hold? I see you and my stomach drops. I won’t admit it out loud but I miss you so much I’d take you back in a second. I need you. Life is getting harder and I need you. The only person that matters. I loved you...
Love, her

October 8, 2008
Dear him:
I hear a heartbeat in my body but I refuse to believe that I still have a heart. I am with so many people yet I feel so alone. You are not the one in pain. You do not think of me like I long for you. You do not feel hollow like me. I loved you...
Love, her

October 9, 2008
Dear him:
This situation is pregnant with unresolved fights. Unsaid words. Unpaid debts. But you don’t even want me to PAY YOU BACK. Why? That hurts so much. Too often I cry. But you...you do not cry often enough. I loved you...
Love, her

October 10, 2008
Dear him:
I mistakenly let myself think about you today. To dwell on your memory. Our memories. They caused me panic and fear. I could not breathe. My heart was burning in my chest. Beckoning you. But you wouldn’t come. I loved you.
Love, her

October 11, 2008
Dear him:
I played the songs I wrote for you over and over today. I played so much that my fingers bled. But I didn’t care. I kept playing. I needed that one connection back to you. You’re a drug I just can’t quit. I crave you because I loved you...
Love, her

October 12, 2008
Dear him:
All it took was one moment of recalling your memory for me to fall apart. To have a panic attack. I am in the second book of our series. All I want is for you to waltz back into our story. I’ll do anything for you to reappear. I loved you...
Love, her

October 13, 2008
Dear him:
I lied to people and told them I was doing better. I lied because THEY care about me. In truth, I’m hurting more than ever. I’m sick with the pain of needing you. Panicked by the fact you’re not even in my life at all. I want you to be. I loved you...
Love, her

October 14, 2008
Dear him:
As hurtful as it was to speak to you today, it gave me a high. A much needed fix of you. The words you said hurt. Made me cry. But I still loved it. I still kept going. Kept arguing because I needed that contact with you. I loved-love-you.
Love, her

October 15, 2008
Dear him:
When will my ill mind have peace? When will my scattered heart get all its pieces back? The answer to both is: when you come back to me. I know I’ll never rest again until you’re with me. I thought you were special. I loved-love-you.
Love, her


October 16, 2008
Dear him:
One glance from you today sent me into a panic attack. I was in a crowded room where people were staring. Everyone but you. The one person I strangely want to look at me. To notice me. To love me. Or at LEAST speak to me. I loved-love-you.
Love, her

October 17, 2008
Dear him:
I realized painfully tonight that no matter who I’m with or where I am at, I’m still going to long for you. Thats not going to change. you are embedded into my soul. You can’t ever take that from me. Never ever. I STILL love you.
Love, her

October 18, 2008
Dear him:
I had this screaming urge to call you. I needed to hear your voice. I need it everyday. I need you. Are you as lonely as I am? No. You can’t be. Otherwise we’d be together. This love altered me and its taken such a heavy toll. I love you.
Love, her

October 19, 2008
Dear him:
I couldn’t stop thinking about you today therefore I couldn’t stop crying. I sob uncontrollably when you run across my mind. When you pulse through my shattered heart. You run through my veins thicker than my own blood. I love you.
Love, her

October 20, 2008
Dear him:
Weird as it may sound, speaking to you so much today actually HELPED me more than hurt me. I think my soul is just relieved to have you somewhere in my life again...even if you’re not MINE. Maybe things are finally mending. I love you.
Love, her

October 21, 2008
Dear him:
Today was the best of all this so far and I have feelings that things might just keep getting better. You and I were more than civil human beings today...we were friends. My cheeks hurt from smiling because I am no longer invisible to you. I love you!
Love, her




October 22, 2008
Dear him:
Today is day 21 of not being together....but it doesn’t hurt THAT bad. It still stings around the edges but overall things feel slightly and oddly better. You genuinely care about me and that fact powers me through. I love you.
Love, her

October 23, 2008
Dear him:
I can’t decide if I love having you back in my life or if its just plain torturous. Its begging to appear twofold: I NEED to have you be a part of my life but it just kills me that you are not always 100% on being there. I want us. I love you...
Love, her

October 24, 2008
Dear him:
You cannot have it both ways: you are either completely in my life or you just STAY OUT. (I prefer the former). I want you so badly that it physically hurts to see you. All I can think about is how I need you. I crave you. I love you.
Love, her

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