You are the biggest piece of shit man I have ever known in my life. To think, just a few short weeks ago I was hoping that you would see the light and come and get me. I thought that a life with you would be nothing short of God’s greatest blessing for me, and I believed that together the two of us could right any wrongs involved in our past.
I see now that I was wrong.
You see, I always was truthful to you. I told you my worries and concerns. Expressing my feelings to you made me always feel as if we were the most intimate couple, the most emotionally vulnerable, the most safe with each other. Never in my wildest dreams did I believe that you would be dedicating the same amount of energy getting to know me as you were continuing to be friendly with her. You said you wanted a divorce and that you wished you had never gotten married. You said that you had never been in love with her or loved her, cared for her, or needed her with the passion and desire you felt for me. And then you had the audacity to tell me that I was beautiful, stunning, the most gorgeous woman that you had ever seen. You told you wanted to marry me and take care of me. You said you wanted to spoil me and then give me a baby. You told me these things, and I believed you. I thought, “How lucky am I to have found a man that thinks the world of me? That thinks that he has never seen someone more beautiful? More precious? More worthy of his love than me?” I truly felt with you as though I were on top of the world and that nothing could break that high.
What I realize now is that the things that you told me were nothing but lies. And you didn’t just lie to me, but you lied to my friends. You lied to your friends, brother and parents. You lied to your wife, and you lied to God. I listened to you in your prayers wishing that we would find a path for us to be together. I listened to you praying for each of us to walk down a path toward Him together.
You see the problem is, besides the fact that you’re a liar and a cheater, is that I believed that you were a man of God’s word. I believed that you were doing things in your heart because you felt that they were right. I believed that God was giving you an out when he introduced you to me and that you were my blessing from God. I was blinded to the fact that you are a bad person. We shared intimate moments. I shared my body with you. You do not deserve anything that I ever gave you, and I gave you all of me. You told me that you never wanted to be with anyone else and that you wished that you had met me before anyone else. You cried when we made love and told me how beautiful it was and how loved you felt. You told me that I was perfect for you and that I was an angel from God sent down from Heaven. The last time we were together, you told me you finally felt complete again with me by your side. YOU LIED TO ME, and I hate you for it. I hate you.
As I set aside all that hate, the next feeling I feel is fear. Fear about what your daughter (whom you let come around me, whom you brought into my home, whom you kissed every day with the same lips that kissed every part of me and every part of her mother) will believe that your marriage is healthy and pure. She obviously has two parents who love to play games and hurt each other. You two pride yourselves on being so different from the norm, on being so upright, on being so moral and holy. You’re both deceivers and liars. You do not take promises seriously or respect the souls of the other. I have never liked her, but I feel bad for her now because she chose you, and with this new baby she’s stuck with you forever. You are going to be tied to her forever, and you two don’t ever respect each other enough to share your fears, secrets, hopes or emotions. You lie to her, and it appears that she tries to manipulate and play games with you. And you just let her. You are both vile, and I hope that for the rest of your life, you wake up everyday knowing that you had a different option, a different opportunity, a hopeful future, and you deliberately and willfully destroyed it.
Those who dash out hope are called betrayers. You betrayed me and the feelings that I had for you. I built dreams around our future, and you would even ask me what our future together looked like. You asked me what I would want to name our babies, and you would always get so excited talking about wanting me to be the mother of your children. I am GLAD that you didn’t get the opportunity to have children with me. I am THRILLED that the father of my future children will not be a cheater who claims to have God on his side yet deceives those who love him most. I am the WINNER in this situation because you, D--, are a lying piece of trash, and if Jesus forgives you for this, I hope that the rest of your life is lonely and miserable. God wanted His best for you, and you threw it away. He gave you a wife, and you cheated on her. You deliberately violated your vows, and then you lied about it. He gave you a great friend in me, and then we fell in love, and you lied to me about wanting to marry me, make me a virtuous woman, and walk towards God hand-in-hand with me. You spit on His will, and you allowed me to believe that I could learn how to be closer to God by watching your relationship with Him. You are not a holy Christian man. Maybe your best is with your wife, but look at how you defiled and betrayed her trust in you. Maybe your best is to be alone because no one deserves to be hurt the way that you hurt the two of us.
When it is time, I want to marry a man that is as loyal, strong, and loving as my father. I was blessed to have a great dad who modeled for me what it meant to be a real man: to take care of the home, his family, his wife, and his children with love, respect, and honor. I hope your daughter does not grow up to want a man like you as her husband. She does not deserve the misery or the heartache. She deserves so much more than you will ever be able to give someone because you do not know what it means to be honest, forthcoming, strong or moral.
I do not know how you get up and look at yourself everyday in the mirror. You parade yourself around school like some type of role model for children. You bring children into your web of deception and lies. I used to tell the boys that I wanted them to be like you when they grow up, but I was wrong. I hope the boys are nothing like you because they can be so much more. They can be honest. They can be morally upright. They can be good fathers that conceive children that they are happy about having. They can be faithful and monogamous partners. Those boys can be better men than you can ever dream of being. I bet as your grandfather is looking down on you from heaven he is ASHAMED of the man that you have become. If you can even be called a man. You are a coward, a liar, and sham. You are a beast: offspring of the devil. You are no role model, and I wish that I could tell A--- to stay away from you because there is no advice that you could give her that I believe would come from your heart, as I doubt that you even have one.
I am glad that the chapter of my life involving you is over, and I hope that you live to be a very old lonely man with no one in the world left to love you or take care of you. May you rot on Earth and then burn in Hell.