My ex is the kind of person who misses you when he goes on long vacations and can't message you. He'll talk about how he missed you before he complains about his butt hurting from an 18 hour drive.
My ex is the kind of person who showers you with love, telling you how beautiful he thinks you are and other things like that. He's genuinely interested to hear your ideas about the world and types "You're so smart" whenever a gap comes into conversation. He's also the kind of person to be sincere about it.
My ex is the kind of person who's there for the little problems you have. He's the type who encourages you to write books and save the world, while both of you know full well that neither will happen. He's the type who patiently reads you typing out how your shoes had rocks in them, or how your friends irritate you because they're too happy or too sad or too human.
My ex is the kind of person who will make plans to meet you at an aquarium. He doesn't drive, so you'll invariably end up at the aquarium alone, staring at the fish and the sharks and the other couples, wondering when you'll be able to see his beautiful face in person. He'll give you a call, apologize sixteen times about how he couldn't get a ride, and proceed to have a two-hour long phone conversation with you.
My ex is the kind of person who surprises you. He's the kind of person who will begin to ignore you for a week, constantly raving about a video game until you confront him about the information. "It's a test," he'll type. "I wanted to see how serious you were about this relationship."
Then he'll give you an e-snuggle.
My ex is the kind of person who misses you when he goes on long vacations and can't message you. He'll talk about how he missed you before he complains about his butt hurting from an 18 hour drive. You'll probably feel sorry for his butt and get this strange wish to want to massage it. The feeling will pass.
Until my ex catches on to your sexual feelings. He's the kind of person who talks about sexual things from time to time. (Then again, what guy isn't?) He's the kind of person to suggest programs so the two of you can remotely connect to each others' computers, exploring them. He'll remark that he equated the experience to "exploring one's body", and it'll probably give you a tingling feeling inside.
My ex is the kind of person who suggests "swimming" when you finally get to meet up with him. It will have been about three months by then, and the two of you will be exhausted from never having seen each other.
He's tall. He has a perfect face. He kisses you when you give him gifts. He gives you his boxers, and you give him your tennis shorts. Interestingly enough, the two of you have the same waist size.
He's the kind of person who falls in love with your cooking as soon as he takes his first bite, yet every corner, every pore of his face will tell you that he's being sincere. He'll strip when he's done eating. He has the most handsome body you'll ever see. He'll jump into the water. When you jump in, he'll hold you close as the two of you make references to youtube videos that the two of you have watched.
After a swim, he'll suggest that the two of you enter a bathroom stall together. You'll balance yourself on the toilet seat when someone else walks into the bathroom.
My ex is the kind of person who will talk about how amazing breakfast was.
Then he'll talk about video games.
He'll talk about them every day for a few weeks, until you get fed up and want him to pay attention to you. At first, he'll understand, but he won't follow through, so you'll tell him again. He's the kind of person who doesn't get it the first time. He's the kind of person who takes a half minute, then a full minute, then two minutes, then five to respond to your messages. He's the kind of person who throws around "I love you" in between pauses. He's the kind of person who gives you a "*kiss*" good night, because that's what's become expected.
You'll send him a poem. He won't notice. You'll tell him about it, and how you spent all night on it, and how it was supposed to brighten his day. He'll get irritated at you and begin to complain about stress. It will be your fault.
You'll make up that night, but you'll still have the same problems. He'll never learn, because he's dense. He'll never learn, because he knows that you'll never leave him. And he's right. You can't leave him. He's the first guy to actually love you. He's the first guy to actually mean the world to you.
You'll spend your nights in the shower, wondering what went wrong. Wondering where the man you loved went, and who took his place? You'll never come to an adequate conclusion.
My ex is the kind of person to get stressed easily. He has a lot of problems to deal with. He's going to college soon. His dad lost his job. He has a relationship with someone he can't physically hold. His parents don't know that he's gay. Or at least bi.
My ex is the kind of person to give up on you. He'll dump you when you start bringing up the video games again. He won't want to deal with you anymore. Besides, he has other guys to look at at his high school. Other guys who are already hitting on him.
My ex is the kind of person you'll talk to weeks later and ask what he's up to. He'll tell you that he's playing Pokemon. He won't respond right away. He'll tell you that his father got a new job. He'll tell you that things are looking good for his college admissions.
You'll be happy for him. But every time you enter a chat room, you'll see him e-snuggling a new guy and feel a pang of jealousy. You used to be his only one. You used to be the one he e-snuggled. You used to be the one for him. You used to be the one who he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Now, he's snuggling other people. Now he's just fine. And there you are, a pile of useless shit, hiding under a false name.
You'll grow angry. You'll grow jealous. You'll go to your classes with more determination to meet more people. You'll go to lectures and events to desperately find a boyfriend. You'll go to photo galleries, videos about the Earth, lectures about discrimination, clubs designed for social activities. You'll make new friends. You'll learn new things. You'll find yourself.
My ex is the kind of person who, when he hears about this, will do nothing but smile. My ex is the kind of person who saw this coming in the first place, anyway. My ex is the kind of person who forces you to speak up for yourself when he ignores you. My ex is the kind of person who tears you out of the closet, shows you what it's like to be loved, and fades into the woodwork.
My ex is not the kind of person who gives your life meaning. My ex is the kind of person who forces you to find your own meaning.